Everyone is staring at me. Probably because I’m dressed like Elsa from Frozen.
I don’t care though. At this point in my life, I’ve learned how to stop giving a crap when I have to go out in public dressed in my party princess garb.
I had just finished performing at a kid’s birthday party when this headache kicked in, so I rushed to the pharmacy to pick up my new medication.
I usually have my prescription migraine medication filled so that I can take it whenever a bad headache hits, but this month, my insurance switched up its coverage terms, and I couldn’t request a refill at the pharmacy until I had completely run out.
Irritation simmers underneath the pain of my headache. I freaking hate insurance companies.
I’m so sick of the crap they constantly pull. Changing eligibility requirements. Jacking up premiums. Saying they cover a medication or procedure, but then refusing to pay for it.
I’ve spent my whole life dealing with them, and it’s only gotten more difficult, more frustrating, more demoralizing.
I clutch the side of my head and hold back a groan as the line moves at a snail’s pace. My anxiety kicks up at how long this could take…and how it could make things so much worse.
I close my eyes and take a slow, deep breath. I quietly exhale. It’s a short reprieve from the harsh fluorescent lights above. Being around bright lights can sometimes turn a bad headache into a migraine, and I can’t have that happen right now. Not when I’ve got a full schedule at work.
My phone starts to ring. When I look and see that it’s my ex, Damien, calling, I silence it. A minute later, he texts me.
You can’t ignore me forever, Ellie. You owe me money for breaking our lease. One thousand dollars. Don’t think you can just stiff me and I’m going to just sit there and let you.
I grit my teeth, upset at Damien for the way he’s going after me over this. That ache in my head gets worse, so I relax my jaw and close my eyes. I refuse to let Damien be the reason for this headache turning into a migraine.
I still can’t believe I stayed with him for as long as I did—and I can’t believe I moved into his apartment after dating him for just three months.
That wassostupid of me. But he was my first relationship—the first guy I ever kissed. I was smitten with him. He was so sweet and funny and charming.
Until he wasn’t.
When I think about how quickly he lost his patience with me in bed…how he flipped out on me when I was the most vulnerable and scared….
I start to feel sick.
I can’t believe I fell for someone who was so cruel and mean. Who convinced me to move in with him and then kicked me outof his apartment when I wouldn’t do what he wanted in bed. Who blamed me for getting kicked out of his apartment, even though he was the one at fault. And now he’s coming after me for money I don’t actually owe him. Money I don’t even have.
I think about explaining that to him for the millionth time, but I know he won’t care. He’ll just yell at me and demand that I give him cash, like always.
I swallow back that sick feeling and push Damien out of my mind. A few more slow, deep breaths ease the sharp pain at the back of my skull. My head is still aching, but it takes the edge off.
I dig in the pocket of my massive, ice blue gown for a piece of ginger candy and pop it in my mouth. The longer I suck on the citrusy and spicy candy, the more my stomach settles.
The line moves ahead a few, and my nerves start to ease. Just a few more minutes in this line and I’ll pick up my medicine and stave off this migraine.
One good thing about this headache is that it’s taken my mind off how embarrassed I was after hanging out with Camden this weekend.
I’ve been obsessing over it, mortified at how awkward I was…and how weird Camden probably thinks I am.
It started as such a fun night. We were chatting and laughing. But then Camden made a joke about how boring he was, and I gave him a hard time about it, which led to him joking about the wildest places he’s had sex…
And then I started asking him questions about it, even though I shouldn’t have.
But Camden was so open about it, and I couldn’t help my curiosity.
Because I have no idea what any of that is like. I’ve never done any of the things he’s done.
I’ve kissed one guy in my life—Damien. That’s it.
And the few times we tried to take things further, it was a complete disaster. The most humiliating and hurtful experience of my life.
