“That she’d show up since everyone will be busy partying,” he finishes off for me.
I struggle to let out the words that cling to the tip of my tongue before I manage to force them out. “Yeah, I’m afraid she’ll end it.”
“Have you been coming here every night?” he asks but doesn’t wait for me to answer before asking another. “Don’t you think it’s something you should leave to the police?”
“I called and they said they’d keep an eye out, but they didn’t sound too worried. Even said it was something that just happens…” I grind my teeth, my hand tightening around the bottle.
“What do you plan to do? Come here every night? Do you not know how many cliffs there are in this city? If she wants to end it, she’ll just find another cliff or use another method.”
“Don’t you think I know that?” I lash out, my voice raising. “I fucking know that, Angel!”
“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to sound insensitive, but I…” He sighs. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said it like that. I know you and I know you’re going to feel guilty, but this isn’t your responsibility.”
I wish I could think like that. I want to because the thought of her jumping is fucking with my head, but I feel and think too much. So many have called me empathetic, and there’s nothing wrong with that, but I’ve been screwed over by it.
“I know.” I wipe my palm down my face. “I just…”
“We’ll wait until three.”
I turn to look at him even though I really can’t see him because of how dark it is. “You don’t have to?—”
“You’re out of your goddamn mind if you think I’m going to leave you alone. I don’t understand why you feel the need to be here, but I know it’s going to bother you if I make you leave,” Angel says. “But if she doesn’t show up, you’re going to have to let it go because it’s not healthy. Call the police as many times as you want, but don’t keep coming because it’s only going to fuck with your head.” There’s a poignant sound in his voice but then he clears his throat and says, “Are we clear?”
I don’t want to agree, but I know he’s not wrong. It’s already fucked with my sleep because of the same dream I keep having.
She’s always standing on the cliff, and just when I’m about to reach out to grab her, she jumps.
“Yeah.” I nod. “Thanks, man. You don’t have to be here with me, but I really appreciate it. And?—”
He lifts a hand to stop me from talking. “Please don’t get sappy. We’re bad boys for life, okay? I’m always going to be here for you.”
I cringe but laugh. “Please stop saying that, but know I’m always going to be here for you too.”
“Okay, enough. We’re doing too much.” I’m sure he’s grimacing and I’m proven right when he pulls his phone out, lighting up his face, and I see the disgust in his expression.
My lips twitch, but I don’t smile. However, my jaw does drop when I see a picture of a naked girl on his screen. I look away as another pops up.
“Don’t get shy on me now. Don’t act like you don’t receive them.”
“Well, yeah, but I’m not sharing them or showing them to other people.”
“She doesn’t care if you see.” He chuckles as he replies to her.
“Sydney?” I ask because she also sends me pictures even though I’ve asked her not to. She, in fact, doesn’t care who sees.
“Yeah, I didn’t ask for them, but I’m not going to deny them. You know, people are paying hundreds for stuff like this on OnlyFans and I’m getting them for free. I’m not going to be ungrateful.”
I can’t argue with that logic.
We spend the rest of the night talking about stupid shit and the upcoming season. After he replied to Sydney, he never got on his phone again, but we knew the New Year was here because of the fireworks going off in the distance and our phones constantly buzzing in our pockets.
Eventually the bright showers of sparkling lights died and so did my hope of ever seeing Josefine. I had a gut feeling she wouldn’t show up, but I held on to hope, and now I realize holding on to it had been pointless.
For all I know, she could be…gone. There’s a voice in my head, like the smallest flame of light illuminating the darkest part in my head, that screams to keep the hope alive that she’s okay. But as I sit here, it doesn’t feel like it. That is until Angel speaks up.
“I’m sure she felt it.” I’m confused until he proceeds to explain, “Josefine. I’m sure she felt your care. Whether she’s here or…not, at least she knew someone cared enough to stop her. You could have walked away, but you didn’t. You stayed, and I’m sure that meant a lot to her.”
I want to agree, but this time I can’t.
