“Brown? You know there are so many colors you could’ve picked from?”
“I know but I have a thing for brown.”
Her eyes meet mine and the sun hits them just right; they look like two pools of incandescent amber. Mesmerizing and magnetic, making it hard to look away from.
“A thing for brown?” She sounds amused. “I thought your favorite color was green?”
“Yeah, a thing. I happen to really like that color.” I reply. “And it is but it’s a bit too obvious and brown is different. Brown is…I just have a deep thing for it.”
She stares, a little dumbfounded, like she can’t fathom why I would pick that color out of all the colors. “I’m intrigued.”
So am I.
“What about you?”
“Still thinking about it,” she answers as she fiddles with the zipper of her bag strapped to her chest. It’s almost like she’sanxious, and I wouldn’t have picked up on it except I see her twist her ring and tuck her hair behind her ear. “I have something for you.”
She unzips her bag and hands me a small square envelope.
“Can I open it now?” My mind is running wild and my heart is racing again.
“If you want, or you can wait.” She busies herself, taking pictures of the trees and things we pass by while I open the envelope and pull out the small handmade card.
“You made this for me?” I hold back my smile at the piece of toast with the words,Here’s A Toast, above it.
“Yeah, I’m not super creative or funny like you, but I tried,” she quickly says like she’s embarrassed.
“I think you’re funny.”
She rolls her eyes, but I spot a small tilt to her lips and that makes me smile.
When I direct my attention back to the card and open it, my breath hitches at the silver key taped on one side. On the other side, it says,To Your New Toaster. The bottom has two different toasters drawn inside that look like little homes. One is old with two slots for bread, while the other is new with four slots.
“Josie.”
“You don’t have to stay, but if you ever feel like you need to um…get some rest, you can. Don’t feel obligated to spend the night or come over. But if you ever need space from your roommates, you’re more than welcome to stay.”
For the first time in a while my thoughts aren’t running manic because I have none. I’m genuinely shocked. I don’t know what to say until I snap out of it.
“Thanks, Josie.” I take it off the card and immediately attach it to my key ring.
“Yeah.” And then she goes quiet again for the rest of the trail.
And so am I because I’m struggling to accept that she trusts me so much, she gave me a key to her house.
23
JOSEFINE
It’sweird how silence can feel so loud, so suffocating, so isolating.
It’s my fault for craving it back then. I wished for it, prayed everything would just for a moment be quiet.
And now that I have it, I hate it.
Whoever said be careful what you wish for wasn’t lying.
I wanted to stop hearing Coach Novak constantly remind me how I wasn’t as good as everyone thought I was. And that was just a grain of what he said to me. He patronizingly laughed and said it was tough love, that he meant nothing by it.
