Now that sounds reasonable, but it makes my stomach plummet. “I don’t care.”
“I’m just trying to look out for you. He’s most likely talking to you to get back at me. Don’t let him use you, Josie.”
“Are you done?” My heart races but for different reasons I can’t begin to explain.
“He likes to fuck arounda lot. If you don’t believe me, just ask around.”
This time it’s him who walks away, while I stand here, my thoughts conflicted and heart heavy.
18
JOSEFINE
“Sorry I’m late.”Vi says out of breath, taking a seat across from me and next to Pen. “Let me tell you, getting out of a mermaid tail is not as easy as you would think it would be.”
Dinner was planned last minute by Pen. She said she needed to vent and so here we all are at SeaSide Tacos. I wasn’t going to come because once again, I didn’t think and booked myself back-to-back. In retrospect, if I don’t overbook myself, I’ll get lost in my head, and that’s currently a dangerous place to be. There’s hardly any light filtering through, and I know the moment it gets pitch black, I won’t be able to shut down the ugly thoughts still lurking in the back of my head.
I’m currently struggling as it is and being alone on a Saturday night or really any night does nothing for my cause. I also didn’t want to be alone tonight because I’d probably mull over what Bryson said yesterday.
It’s been nagging at me, and it shouldn’t. Even if Daniel is potentially using me to get back at Bryson, I can’t say it necessarily bothers me. I’m fucked up, I know, but I sort of relish the idea of it bothering Bryson.
What’s been incessantly on my mind though is Daniel punching Bryson because of Amanda. I shouldn’t care, but apparently I do because it’s all I’ve been thinking about.
You don’t punch someone that bad for someone else unless you really care about them. Maybe he feels more than he made me believe. Maybe Daniel still cares for her but feels guilty for doing so. After all, she cheated on him but even so, she cares for him. It was very obvious in the way she stared at him.
“It’s seriously awesome that you get to do that. Is it as fun as I’m thinking it is?” Pen asks.
“Yes.” Her dark brown eyes glitter. “The staff is amazing. I get to switch tails and bras. The kids’ faces when they see me is priceless. Though putting on the tail is work all on its own, and staying underwater for so long gets exhausting, but it’s honestly worth it.”
“Maybe if things don’t work out for me, I’ll become a mermaid,” Pen muses jokingly.
Vi and I glance at each other, hearing uncertainty and frustration seep from her voice.
Because I’m afraid to fuck it up and say something that could sound insensitive, I let Vi do all the talking.
“You want to tell us what’s bothering you? We’re here for you,” she sympathetically questions.
Before Pen replies, the waitress takes our orders and once she’s gone, Pen doesn’t waste a second to tell us what happened.
She sighs. “How do you go from dating and telling someone you love them to them breaking up with you because they need to focus on themselves to then dating your best friend?”
Vi and I lock eyes, but still, I say nothing. I don’t want to be the person who attempts to make Pen feel better by telling her my shitty experience with my first boyfriend. That won’t help her cause, and I don’t want her to pity me. Plus, this also involves her brother, and he’s not someone I should be talking about.
Again, Vi does the talking. “Wait, hold up, so your ex-boyfriend is dating your best friend? Please tell me you’re not still friends with her?”
She puffs out an aggravated breath and slouches in her chair. “Yes, and well…I…I’m not…she’s not…we’re…it’s complicated. She’s on the cheer team and because I’m captain, I can’t…I need to keep it…amicable,” she flounders and drops her face to the table. Still keeping her forehead glued to the table, she says, “And we live together.”
I scoff incredulously. “You don’t need to do shit. You don’t owe her anything. She was your best friend and is now dating your ex? Absolutely fucking not.”
Vienna nods in agreement, showing solidarity for what I just said. “And she lives with you? Yeah, fuck that, her, and him.”
“I know. I know, but I…” She softly groans as she lifts her head. “I just need to get over it. He broke up with me months ago. It’s not like he cheated on me or anything. She said she didn’t mean to fall for him, but…” She trails off like it pains her to say it. “They have a class together, they’re partners, and one thing led to another.”
“Oh Pen,” Vi empathically says.
“It’s fine, I guess. I want to get over him, I really do, but every time I see them together, I see us. Everything he does for her, he did for me.” She smiles but it doesn’t reach her eyes. “Actually, he does more for her than he did for me.” She sighs and shakes her head like she’s trying to forget the memories. “I’m sorry for sounding so dramatic. I just needed to get that off my chest.”
“Shut up. You don’t sound dramatic,” I chide.
