“I’ll just be wasting your time. I don’t think I’ll learn and?—”
She raises her hand for me to stop talking when she pulls her phone out of her black belt bag. She types something and then I feel my phone vibrate in the pocket of my shorts.
“I texted you my address.”
She didn’t have to do that. I memorized it the moment I left her house. Just in case she ever needed me. It was a reach, and I know she never would, but it’s good to be prepared.
“You don’t have to worry about it.” I plaster on a playful smile, hoping she can’t read between the lines and see and feel my trepidation. “It’s really not a big deal.”
“It is a big deal. Knowing how to swim is important. I’m going to teach you and then we’ll go on about our lives.”
I know what she means by that. We’ll never interact with each other once it’s over. And I realize this is probably her way of returning the favor.
Except I don’t want anything in return but for her to be happy, safe, and okay.
11
JOSEFINE
I suck in a sharp breath,and then another one, doing my best to tether the frustration bubbling inside me.
I don’t know what I was thinking, agreeing to teach Daniel how to swim. I saw the discomfort that crossed his eyes, his pulse ricochet against his neck, and how his lips strained into a smile.
It’s obvious he didn’t want to do it, and the moment I noticed his hesitation, I shouldn’t have pushed. But I did and now I’m angry at myself, not at him.
Angry because I told myself not to overanalyze his unmistakable trepidation. I should’ve listened to the voice in my head to drop it, but I didn’t. All because I kept replaying his stupid boyish grin in my head and his words.
Something about them just made me feel…a little warm.
It was an odd feeling, something I hadn’t felt before, but the warmth didn’t last long because a few hours ago he texted me.
Daniel: I’m sorry but I have too much going on and won’t be able to commit. I don’t want to waste your time
There’s nothing wrong about what he said. I’m glad he told me. I’m just annoyed at myself for agreeing to begin with. I don’t change my rules, but for him I did. How stupid. Who would willingly want to spend time with me? Why did I think Daniel of all people would want to? I should’ve known better but no, I had to learn the hard way, again.
At least now, I don’t have to be with him more than I need to.
Walking down the cobblestone walkway, I shift my focus on the quaint fairy-tale town. This coastal town looks like it came out of a book. With its cottages, the beach right next to you, and the incredible views.
But as pretty and calm as it is, I don’t know if I’ll keep living here. This place holds too many memories that I wish I could forget. Once I get my degree and sell Mom’s house, I’m leaving. I’m not sure where I’ll go, but it doesn’t matter as long as I’m far away from here.
I wouldn’t even be here, but since that night Daniel intervened, I haven’t been able to bring myself to end it.
Maybe it’s a punishment from Mom. If she were here right now, I know she’d reprimand me for attempting to take the easy way out. She’d tell me her exit from this world wasn’t easy, so why should mine be?
My chest constricts painfully, but the tightness dissolves once I stand in front of Coastal Swim and Surf. Shaking the thoughts of her away, I enter and stand in front of the register.
“Hey, how can I help you?” The employee greets me with a professional smile.
“I need to return these items.” I set the foam kickboard and goggles on the counter.
I didn’t have a board big enough for Daniel. All the kids I teach are between the ages of three and ten, and they’re all half the size of Daniel. So I knew I needed to get him something bigger and I always get all my new clients goggles.
“Was something wrong with them?” the lady asks.
“No, I just won’t need them anymore.”
She nods and once she’s done, I walk out of the store and head back the way I came.
