“Apologize one more time and I’ll really fuck you up, Daniel. Then you’ll really be out for the rest of the season.” Gray punches my shoulder, but then draws me into another hug. “You don’t apologize. We all go through it, okay? I missed you, baby.”
“I missed you too,” I say before he lets go.
“You don’t need to apologize, but how are you feeling?” Angel asks. His warm, steady brown eyes hold mine with understanding.
“I’m okay, not fine, just okay.” I shift the weight of one foot from the other. I’ve never openly talked about my feelings to them. They saw me at my worst a few weeks ago, but I never told them how I was feeling. “I’m working through it.”
“If you need anything, anything at all, we’re here for you.” Kai gently squeezes my shoulder. “We’re seriously glad you’re back. Oh! You know who’s going to be happy you’re?—”
Angel cuts him off with a curt shake of his head. “Shut up.”
“What?” I ask, gaze bouncing between the two. “If you say Amanda, I swear I’m moving out.”
Because I have her blocked, I haven’t heard from her, and I hope it stays that way.
“No, it’s Jo?—”
“Shut up,” Angel says again.
My heart races and I restlessly drum my fingers against my thigh. “Let him talk. Who?”
Kai glances at Angel who shrugs and eventually nods. “Josie. She came the day you left. She wanted to see you.”
“She did?” My mind races with a million thoughts.
“Yeah, but you said it was best if you guys didn’t talk. I told her, oh fuck—did you not mean that?”
I wasn’t thinking. I was upset and I thought saying that out loud would help me, but it did the opposite.
“It’s okay. It’s not your fault.” I sigh. “I need to go up to my room and set this down.” They part, giving me space to head up the stairs. The only one who follows me is Angel.
“I promise it’s okay. I’m not mad at you,” I tell him when we’re in my room. Boxes filled with my stuff are still scattered around. I don’t bother with them. I drop my duffle on the floor and sit on my bed. “I’m mad at myself. I wasn’t thinking. I was?—”
“It’s okay. She knows that.” He leans on the edge of my desk. “I talked to her.”
“You did?”
“Yeah. I won’t say she’s doing one hundred percent okay. She kind of crashed out and I had to break into her house.”
“What?”
He proceeds to tell me everything and why he did what he did. “I just wanted her to know you’d be back and things would be okay. Though I’m not great at this stuff like you are. I kind of told her we’re all mentally fucked up. I can’t tell whether she found that insulting or helpful, but she didn’t punch me, and I think she smiled. She’s really hard to read, but I think we’re cool.”
I don’t know whether to laugh, hug him, or cry a little. “You did that for me?”
“For you. For her. Loneliness is a bitch. I thought about the cliff and…I really don’t know if I helped, but I wanted her to know she wasn’t alone.”
I shoot up. “Thank you for?—”
“Don’t thank me. I’m here for you—and for her, if she wants. She’s little Miss I’ll Fuck You Up If You Try To Help Me.”
I kind of smile. “Do you know what she was here for?”
“I don’t, but I did tell her to only show up if she isn’t going to walk away.” He pushes off the desk and pauses at the doorway. “She’s at the aquarium with Pen.”
“How do you know that?”
“Stop asking questions and go see her.”
