He grumbles under his breath and opens his door, allowing me to go inside.
Angel leans against the closed door. “Talk to me and stop acting like you’re okay. I know you’re not.”
I clench my teeth, fighting against the black fog in my head and the urge to disappear. “It was the water. You know how I feel about it, but I’m fine, I promise.” I smile wider. “Can you give me the clothes now?”
“I know, but you’ve been swimming with Josie. I thought?—”
“It made her happy, so I did it. I told you and everyone else that the lessons weren’t going to help, but you guys don’t listen.” A chill shoots down my spine and the stabbing returns. So I drain half my cup and stop myself from finishing the rest because Angel’s looking at me weird. “Listen, it’s not a big deal. Thanks for getting me out of there.”
He gives me a brittle nod and grabs a change of clothes and a towel for us. “Are you leaving now?”
“No, why?” I kick off my shoes, dry off, and change into his clothes.
“You want me to kick everyone out? I don’t mind. I know Noah’s ready for everyone to leave.” He lightheartedly chuckles, but it sounds stilted as he changes.
“No, don’t do that. I’m seriously fine.” I wave it off and run a hand through my damp, disheveled hair. “My hair look okay?”
Angel goes quiet, the silence drawing out before he nods. “Yeah, it looks good. It always does.” Another pause. “Oh, let me get you some shoes.”
“Right, thanks.” I grab my cup, finish the drink, and wallow in the numbness that comes with it. “I need to hurry up. Josie’s waiting for me.”
He takes my wet clothes and hands me the shoes. “I know something is wrong. Whatever it is, you can talk to me. I’m your best friend.”
“The water freaked me out a little, but I’m good. Stop worrying. I swear, I’m great.”
I open the door before he can get another word out and find Josie standing outside. She lifts her head, and there’s a doleful look in her eyes as they sweep over me like they did outside.
“Hey, I was just going to you.” I cut the space and wrap my arms around her, inhaling her lavender vanilla scent. She smells so good, feels good too.
I’m thankful for the alcohol that courses through my system because I feel nothing but numb and painfully happy. She doesn’t need to see me in any other way but happy.
“Hey.” There’s a brokenness in her voice that stabs my heart. “Do you want to get out of here?”
“No, why?” I cup her jaw and tip her head back to look up at me.
Her brows knit, confusion and concern flickering over her face. “Daniel, don’t…” She circles her arms around my waist. “Don’t pretend to be okay. Let yourself feel,” she whispers. “It’s okay to feel whatever you’re feeling. I’m right here. I won’t go anywhere.”
I kiss her but she draws away.
“Have you been drinking?”
“Just a little.” I kiss her forehead and smile down at her. “There’s nothing to feel. I promise I’m okay, so please stop staring at me like something is wrong. I promise there’s not.”
She isn’t buying it. She stares at me long and hard. Long enough, I can feel her infiltrate my mind and read every pulsing, detrimental fear running manically in my head.
“Everything’s fine,” I evenly voice, raising a crafty smile that I’ve perfected over the years. The kind that no one ever asksquestions about. “I promise. I’m sorry I left you out there. I just needed a minute, but I’m good.”
Her expression doesn’t waver; it hardens for a fraction before it slightly softens. “Do you want to go home?”
“No, I want to stay a little. Stay with me?” Sweat beads my back and heat flares inside, making me hot.
“I…” she falters, eyes bouncing over with hesitation. “Yeah, I’ll stay with you.”
Despite the wave of relief that washes over me, dark clouds loom in the distance.
It’s fine. I just need to drink a little, then I’ll sleep it off, and be as good as new tomorrow.
Josefine: March 31st
