“You can call me whatever you want.” I perch on the bed next to her. Truthfully, I want to hear it again, but I don’t want her to feel pressured. I kiss her shoulder and snake my arms around her waist.
“I don’t like cuddling,” she says, and I tense, drawing my hands away but she stops me. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to sound so dry, and I didn’t mean I wanted you to move.” She pauses and exhales a shuddering breathing. “I don’t like cuddling with anyone, but I really like it with you. I like doing things with you. So, uh, if you want to, you know, hold my hand, or hug me or even kiss me, you can. Whenever you want. If you want.”
I’m stupidly smiling and holding her so close to me. I’m sure at any point she’ll beg me to let go, but she nuzzles into me. “I’ll do whatever you want. Anything you want. Whatever you say, I’ll do it.”
“Okay.” She nods and looks away, but I know she’s smiling and probably feeling shy about it.
“I’m yours, Josie. You can also do those things and more. Whatever you want.”
Hopefully this means coming to my games and wearing my jersey. I don’t say that out loud, but I know she knows what I’m referring to.
She nods and focuses on the bag. My heart hammers as she pulls the white tissue out then gingerly grabs the yellow Care Bear. Her brows shoot up and she sucks in a sharp breath.
“I saw this in Alabama and thought of you.” I study her expression but it’s stoic.
Josie stares at it for a long moment, fingers rubbing over the yellow faux fur. Silence eats up the seconds and maybe even minutes, but then she stands, looking a little spaced out.
“I-I need a minute.” She sets everything down and walks out of my room, not sparing me a glance.
I don’t know what that’s about but I’m up and following behind her into her room. “Josie, hey, talk to me, baby. What’s wrong?”
She shakes her head, and her back is to me, but I see her wipe her face with her arm. “It’s nothing, I’m fine. I just needed a minute.” She sniffles.
“Hey.” I’m standing in front of her and embracing her in a hug. “Talk to me. I’m your person, remember?”
“It’s stupid. It’s nothing.” But she defeatedly drops her head on my chest and sniffles louder.
“I’m here,” I softly offer and rub her back.
At first, she doesn’t say anything and then I think she won’t until she shrugs. “It’s honestly really stupid. You’re going to laugh, but I didn’t have toys growing up. Mom thought they were a waste of time. She didn’t have them as a kid and thought I didn’t need them either. Like I said, it’s really stupid. I don’t even know why I’m crying.” Her voice cracks. “I just need a minute. I’ll be over there in a moment.”
I hold her tighter, kissing the crown of her head. “It’s not stupid. Let it out. Your feelings are valid.”
“She wasn’t a horrible person. She was strict, but I had everything I needed. I don’t even know why I’m crying,” she grumbles and pushes away from me. “I’m okay, I promise. You can leave. I’m not going to be mad. Like I said, I just need a minute. I’ll be all right.”
“Here’s the thing, and listen to me closely…” I cup her jaw with both hands, staring at her red, tear-filled eyes. “When I said I like you, I didn’t say that for the hell of it. When I said I like you, I meant I likeeveryversion of you. That includes all the moments whether they’re good or bad. That means all your little expressions, all your dry snarky comments, all your smiles, laughs, and everything that comes from you. I like it all, Josefine. I know it’s hard for you to open up. I know it’s scary and I know this is probably a lot for you, butI am hereand as long as you want me in your life, I’m not going anywhere. So…”I bring my lips to her forehead and kiss it but let them linger there. “I’ll give you a moment. Take your time. I have forever.”
I kiss her forehead and let her go, but I don’t make it far before she’s clutching onto my hand.
“Please don’t go,” she quietly pleads, clutching onto my hand hard.
I wrap her up in a tight embrace, and she does the same. “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”
47
DANIEL
“You know,I’m starting to think you lied to me.” I lift my goggles and wipe the water off my face with my palm.
Josie’s brows scrunch in. “Lied about what?”
“I don’t think you really like me.”
She rolls her eyes, sputtering an incredulous laugh. “Okay, break is over.”
I grab her waist before she can move. “I just got back. I thought we’d watch a movie and cuddle, not be here. It’s not that I don’t appreciate you doing this. I do. I just really want to hold you.” I circle my arms around her waist, tugging her close to my chest.
Her lips curl up just a little. “You’re so needy.”
