Even though I’m driving behind her, eyes laser focused on her car, I can’t help but feel like this is some kind of dream. I’m afraid to wake up and find out she did jump.
I’m also afraid this might be a nightmare. That she’ll drive me to the cliff side, and she’ll have me watch her step off the edge, and I won’t be able to do anything about it.
“Daniel.” Angel softly punches my arm.
I blink, my hands gripping the steering wheel tighter. “Sorry, what?”
“Relax. She’s alive,” he says lightly, voice humor filled to ease the tension, but it does nothing for me.
“I pulled her back…” My skin flares with goose bumps, and a cold shiver runs down my spine.
“What?”
I didn’t tell him that part because I couldn’t bring myself to voice it then. Even now, it’s hard to get it out because I’m afraid it’ll still happen. That I’ll speak it into existence.
My hold on the wheel loosens and I grimace at how wet my palms are. “She just…took a step. It was a determined but defeated step like…” I bite the inside of my cheek as the memories of that night resurface. “She was ready to go and had given up on the world.”
My stomach painfully sinks, and I find it difficult to breathe. Even swallowing becomes hard. I try but the harder I do, the more intense the pain feels and unfolds throughout. And the place it hurts the most and worst is in my chest.
All the pain resides there, making itself known.
“Are you serious? What would you have done if she would’ve pulled you with her? What the hell were you thinking? You could’ve died.” He’s exasperated and from the corner of my eye, I see him shake his head, his mussed straight black hair swaying on his forehead. “You should’ve immediately called the police. That wasn’t the time to play fucking hero!”
“They wouldn’t have made it on time. What was I supposed to do, just stand back and watch her fucking go?” I raise my voice, quickly veering my gaze to his before shifting it back to the road. “Then what? Move on? Pretend I didn’t see a human being end their life? Just carry on and pretend it’s all goddamn right? Is that what I’m supposed to do?”
“That’s exactly what you do because that’s life. That’s how it fucking works. You can’t save everyone. You just fucking can’t,” he coldly states.
“Fuck you.” I sneer.
“Yeah, well I’d rather you be mad than dead.” His reply is just as cold as his last statement.
Leave it to Angel to be a dick, but at least he’s an honest one. He’s not wrong, but I couldn’t watch her go.
“If that was you, I would’ve dragged you back,” I say after a beat.
He huffs out a depleted breath. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said all of that. I would’ve done the same thing if I had been in your position. I…I’d hate for something to happen to you.”
“It wouldn’t have, but I get where you’re coming from.”
Neither one of us says a thing after. The silence is thick and suffocating, until he opens his mouth and says the most Angel thing.
“She didn’t fall in love with you.”
“Huh?”
“You saved her and she didn’t fall for you. She even said she didn’t know you. That must’ve butchered your ego.” Amusement douses his words, along with the tension we were submerging in.
“Shut up. It doesn’t bother me. I’m just glad she’s okay.” At least I hope she is. Physically, she looks like she is, but I don’t know about emotionally.
“Damn…” He whistles as we pull into a road that’s lined with the most luxurious-looking beach houses. “The Mercedes makes sense now.”
I nod in agreement, staring with amazement at her house as we pull into the driveway.
When she steps out of her car, Pen does too. She also decided to come because she was afraid Josefine would feel uncomfortable with us.
I don’t climb out, afraid this was all just a dream or a nightmare.
“She’s okay,” Angel voices, reeling me back in. “She’s alive because of you. She’s okay,” he repeats like he knows it’s what I need to hear to feel reassured.
