I stayed to the sidewalk while the runners took to the street.
I pulled up next to him and said, “Yo. You want some water? A banana?”
He looked over at me with torture in his eyes and I said, “You should lose the shirt, too. You look hot.”
He grumbled something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like “no one wants to see this.”
I continued to ride next to him and said, “Listen. Don’t be a little bitch. Give me the fucking shirt!”
He contemplated it for all of two seconds before he whipped it off and tossed it at me.
I gagged when the wet fabric hit my face and neck.
“That was uncalled for.”
He didn’t apologize, and I almost turned around with his damn banana and water.
Except I was in a good mood today and gave him the water and the banana one by one as he continued to shuffle his way along.
“You look like you’re dying,” I said helpfully.
He grunted.
“You also look like you might should’ve done those running workouts instead of skipping them,” I continued.
He tossed me a glare over his shoulder.
I continued pedaling. “I have a Christmas Tree Cake if you want one.”
He looked interested in that. “Sure.”
I handed it to him and he ripped the packaging off. He swallowed the delicacy in two bites then handed me the trash.
“I should’ve worn different shorts,” he grumbled. “My taint is killing me.”
“You can feel your taint?” I wondered.
He glanced over at me. “Yes.”
“Huh,” I said. “I just always figured that was burned as well.”
“My balls and dick are fine. So is my taint and asshole.”
I smiled. “That’s good.”
The race started to turn, and he waved me off. “Turn back around. They’ve been kicking off non-race participants from the course. They’ll make you walk back if you’re not careful.”
“Fine,” I said. “I’ll have another snack cake waiting on your second time through if you make it back a second time.”
He snorted. “Thanks for the vote of confidence.”
I gave his pitiful looking form a long glance and said, “You look like shit, man. I’m not going to blow smoke up your ass.”
He snorted out a laugh and turned the corner.
I rode back, riding his bike right inside my house in case I needed it a second time, and then started to make cookies.
I had several batches chilling in the fridge for tomorrow’s dinner with Searcy and the family when I looked at my watch and realized that Jasper would be coming through a second time fairly soon.
