I stumble backward a touch. “This will be quick, and then we can go back to your place,” I reply.
Her face settles into stoic annoyance. “Guess there had to be something,” Caroline snaps, eyeing me and then Leif. “Idiot when drunk. Check.”
Idiot? Idiot? Idiot?If I wasn’t so obsessed with the package of Caroline May, I would throttle her. I’m a lot of things, but in this unfettered moment of weakness, she’s calling me an idiot. I swallow hard and try to reign in the anger.
Leif ambles away, shaking his head and laughing. Malena almost falls and he catches her, his hands like bear paws all over her body. Dog. “This was a bad idea. I’m glad I got a chance to see it,” Caroline says.
“I’m having a good time with my friends, Caroline. I’m not saying I can canoe drunk because I’m drunk. I’m saying I can kick their asses in a canoe race because Ican.”
Biting her lip, she crosses one leg over the other at the ankle. “Whatever. Go have a fun time treading water completely annihilated. If that doesn’t sound like a fun time, I don’t know what does.”
“You have a better idea for a fun time?” I crow back, stepping toward her. I can smell her shampoo and the soft hint of laundry detergent. “Let’s go back to the truck and talk. That’s what you want to do? Talk?”
Under the blue hue of the moon, I see her flesh prick with goose bumps. Caroline’s chest rises and falls, andher pouty lips separate. She’s weighing the cost of her answer. Her eyes flash with the decision. “Fine. Let’s go talk.”
I step in the exact place she does as I follow her back across the street to the parking lot. There’s no need to lock my hunk of junk, so she cranks open the door, slides in, and then waits for me to climb in after her. I grasp theoh shithandle and use it more than I should so it breaks off in my hand. I toss it to the floorboard, and she watches it with wide eyes.
“I’m not an idiot, Caroline. I’m still going to race canoes regardless of what you want. My brothers are down there. They’ll wait for me. So, what did you want to talk about here? In the private seclusion of my grand truck cab?” My words slur together. and I realize how it affects my case. I lean over and kiss her shoulder. Her face remains straight ahead, but even drunk Tahoe affects this woman. The pout of her lips, the way her eyes blink slower when she’s turned on. Scooting closer, I place my lips against her neck and drag them side to side.
She pulls away, trying to keep her composure. “You’re angry,” I say.
The tilt of her chin tips up a touch. “You’re being irrational. Pardon me for not wanting to delve into the drunk tank with you, Tyler.”
“Oh, Tyler? Burn,” I say, grinning. My dick hardens. “Tell me something.”
“What?” She looks at me. A mistake she’ll pay for.
“I’m finished waiting. I want you right now.” Thewords slip—my true feelings blaring louder than any rational decisions.
“That’s not a question,” she replies, folding her hands in her lap. She plays with the material of her dress, twisting it between two fingers.
I swallow hard. Remembering what she looks like under that dress gives me all the ammo I’ll ever need to get hard. Caroline was made for me in every conceivable way. “In this truck. In this parking lot. Across the street from all of those people.”
“Are you sure?” She narrows her eyes, and her mouth turns down in the corner. “After all of this time, and all ofyourrules? When you’re being a complete drunk asshole? You pick now?” Something about the way she insults me and swears flips the goddamn switch. The one usually reserved for when I need to be a monster. Maybe because she’s right, and subconsciously I know that. Maybe it’s because I’m the best person I know at ruining a good thing. Perhaps it’s a mixture of the two sparked with bourbon, but I grab her wrists and pin her back against the seat, trying and probably failing at keeping my weight off her. Between her legs, I settle my hips. My head spins, and my stomach flips, because for as drunk as I am, I still know exactly what is about to happen. Leaning down, I chase her lips.
Caroline swallows hard and turns her head away, the pulse at her neck hammering against my lips. “Stop being a cunt,” I rasp into her ear. “I am not a drunk asshole. I fucking love you.” I reach between our bodiesand unbutton and unzip my pants. “I love you so fucking much that you’re making me insane.”
She whimpers, and the noise breaks my fiery haze of desire. Pushing up on my arms, I stare down at her and see the stray tear lingering on her cheek. The moon provides the right amount of light to reveal the travesty. “Are you crying?” I blurt out.
“Will you at least kiss me?” she says, words jagged, wiping under her eyes.
My heart starts pounding out of my chest. The adrenaline and realization mixing in that horrific kind of way. “Kiss you?”
She nods her head furiously. “Tahoe,” she whispers. “I’m a virgin.”
If there were words that could have sent me running, those are the words. “What the fuck?”
Caroline sits up and scoots away from me, wrapping her body with her arms. “I thought you knew,” she says, sniffling once.
I run a hand through my hair as her words sober me faster than anything in the history of time. I basically just mounted her. A woman I’m in love with, a virgin on top of that, in a dirty parking lot. “Why didn’t you tell me before? You know what they say about assumptions?”
She cries, and my heart breaks. “You wanted to wait. I figured it was because you knew. It was too quick tonight. And you’re so drunk. I’m sorry. I panicked. I should have just gone with it.”
“You’re sorry? You’re sorry? I just tried to fuck you inthis disgusting truck!” I roar. “I knew you were innocent, but fuck, Caroline. I thought it was an act or something.” I shake my head. All of the encounters come to mind as I’m reminded that it should have been obvious, but my judgment is always clouded when it comes to her. “I didn’t know virgins your age existed.” Especially beautiful fucking ones. Her wide gaze flicks over me, judging me. If I could disappear right now and never come back, I would.
“Everyone told me not to tell you. That it was a non-issue. At first itwasa non-issue. We were friends. Then when things changed, too much time had passed, and I thought maybe you might think of me differently if you knew I hadn’t slept with a man before.”
She’s right. I would have. I probably would have run as far and as fast as possible if she had been honest about that up front. I’m the type of man you fuck before you find Mr. Right. I’m okay with that. I’m the man that you tell your friends about because he does a cool trick with his tongue in bed. I’m not the fucking man to take your virginity. That impression lasts too long. Being embedded in anyone’s mind longer than a little while is scary. Impressionable. As I look at Caroline, I realize what I need to do regardless of how I feel. Because it’s the right thing to do.
