My heartbeat speeds up. “Here. I wasn’t supposed to be anywhere else.” I shake my head.
Her slow blinks make me nervous as she looks away. “My guess, thereal answeris going to be found in your art. Would I be right?” She smirks, looking back to me.
I swallow deeply.
I guess she’s right. Of course I would’ve wanted to be home with Tobias this weekend. But, I know he feels the same as she does. They want me to push myself. Show my value.
And unfortunately, that comes with making sacrifices.
She continues, moving some hair behind her ear. “I may have taken a peek in the studio the other day.” She says, biting her lower lip.
My eyes widen. “You promised you wouldn’t look.”
She holds up her hands in defense. “I promise, it was just a peek.”
I snort, shaking my head. “You’re relentless.” I hand her a sticky note I know she’s about to look for.
For our mid-terms we were tasked with creating an installation piece and I’ve been very private about mine. It’s not perfect…yet.But it will be once I’m done.
“Keep pouring your heart out into what you want the most, Elijah and you’ll never regret anything a day in your life. I promise you.” She looks down at the paper and jots down the notes on the board.
I suck in a deep breath. “Yeah. Will do.”
I hope she’s right.
But, I can feel the lingering question stirring my insides.
Is this what I want the most?
***
I return to my dorm, trying to avoid the rain as best as I can. The moment I enter, I drop my bag, and fall to the floor.
I’m wiped. Mentally and physically. Between balancing my other classes, working on assignments and projects, and just genuinely trying to balance my mental health, I’m feeling more than tired.
The building is quiet since everyone is back at home.
Home.Where I should be.
WithTobias.
I’m not sure why I let Katelyn climb into my head. I guess on some level, I was scared to go home and it was the perfect excuse.
Thanksgiving is supposed to be a time that you’re supposed to be thankful for the people you have in your life.
But honestly, sitting in that house, feeling the vacancy of my dad would’ve been too hard.
Holidays have turned into just another reminder that he’s gone. Tobias is strong. He could handle it. He always can.
But me?
I just…I couldn’t be there.
Pulling out my phone, I swipe toJude’s Place’ssocial media. It’s been hard keeping up with it being back at school, so the last updates are from the summer. All our friends are just having fun and enjoying the time being together.
The food looks great as usual.
God, I love it there.
