“Is that my sweater?” The corner of his mouth ticks up as he squints, looking in closer.
My face feels hot as I stuff my sweater-covered pillow further under me. “Shut up,” I laugh, trying to hide my shame.
He bites his lower lip, dragging his pillow from beside him into the frame. I see one of my favorite blue button-ups, wrapped around his pillow too.
“Oh, we’resodown bad.” I burst out in laughter, seeing him snuggle his face into the clothing.
“It’s the only way,” he says, breathing in the material. I know what he means.
“I miss how you smell.” I agree without him even having to say it. I rub my face against his sweater, feeling the material soothe me.
“If I start naming the things that I miss about you, this call will never end.” He laughs softly.
“Good.” I smile. I hug my pillow tighter. “I…talked about my dad today. Flux asked and I guess it sort of came out.”
Tobias sits up slightly, scanning my face. “Really?”
“Yeah…”
“Are you…okay?” He breathes.
I swallow deeply, thinking that answer through. “Yeah. It was nice to speak about him.”
“You know you can always talk to me about him, right?”
I nod my head. “If there’s anyone who understands what losing him is like…it’s you.”
Tobias gives me a small smile. “I miss him too.”
I shrug, getting comfortable. “Can you just…I don’t know. Stay on the phone with me? Until I fall asleep, at least?”
Tobias stares at me, love in his eyes as a beautiful smile hints at his lips.
“What?” I smile.
“Nothing.” He smirks. “Yes, of course I’ll stay on the phone with you. I’d love for nothing more.”
“Perfect.”
18
Tobias
“You’re doing it, Tobias! You’re really doing it!” Elijah laughs. I kick as hard as I can, as my arms swing out beside me.
A wide grin spreads on my face. I really am doing it. My head stays above the water as I tread, feeling the excitement and pride fill inside of me.
Elijah shouts, clapping his hands excitedly in front of his face. “You got it, Tobias. Keep kicking! Keep kicking—”
Something wraps around my ankle, making me stop kicking. It feels cold, dead, and…wrong.
“Tobias!” Elijah shrieks out.
Before I can catch one last look at his face, I’m pulled under.
I don’t remember us swimming in the ocean. But here, right now, as the deep blue water surrounds me, I know I’m no longer in Elijah’s lake.
Instead, I’m in the big, deep, empty ocean with nothing here to save me.
