He shouldn’t feel bad for something that should feel so good.
I shake my head, willing away the sadness that I feel. “No, that’s amazing. Absolutely,” I say, plastering on my best smile.
His eyes shoot back to mine. “Really?”
I huff out a laugh. “Elijah, this is Professor Flux we’re talking about here. She’s your dream teacher and she wantsyou.” I feel my fingers gripping the phone so hard it hurts. “Fuck weekends. We’ll have all the weekends together once the semester’s over.” I shrug, trying to look as laid back as possible.
He bites his lower lip, looking down. “Yeah…yeah, I guess you’re right. And plus, I’ll be home for Thanksgiving.”
A month away.
The reality of that stings at my chest.
“You’ll be home before we know it.” I lie. I miss him even when he’s sleeping.
This sucks.
This sucks so badly.
“This is amazing,” I manage.
“You said that already…” he whispers, calling me out on my stumble.
My chest caves inward. “Oh, um…” I think I may be sick.
Suddenly, my office door swings open, revealing an excited Gabe.
“Hey, there’s someone here to see you.” Gabe smiles, tilting his head out to the dining room.
I nod my head. “Okay, coming.” I answer.
“You gotta go?” Elijah asks.
I give him a half smile. “When duty calls.” I shrug. “I really am proud of you, E. You’re doing everything right.”
He gives me a charming smile. “I love you,” he says softly.
“I love you.” I answer, before clicking the phone off.
I feel a deep pressure behind my eyes start to build as I drop my phone onto the desk.
“Tobias?” A soft voice enters the office doorway.
I look up, my heart dropping at the beautiful sight.
“Gwen!” I call out. Pushing away from my desk, I rush over to her like a kid running to his mom.
But truthfully, she’s the closest thing I have to it. Since Jude’s passing, she’s made it a point not to leave us and I’ll always appreciate her for that.
“How’s my boy doing?” She laughs, rubbing my back. She’s a small lady but her tight grip makes me feel secure. I let it ground me as I melt into her arms. “Hey,” she says calmer this time. “Youokay?”
I pick my head up off her shoulder and wipe my face, feeling wetness on my cheeks.
“Oh, Tobias.” Her features softening as she scans my face. I can only imagine what I look like right now. Red, blotchy, puffy eyes, I’m guessing.
“No, I’m sorry. Everything’s great. I’m great.” I sniff, giving her a nice smile.
She gives me a straight-lined smile as she rubs her hand up and down my arm.
