I knock quietly and the door whips open. Musty, old air hits me right in the face.
And there he is, pacing the floor, frantic just like I expected him to be. No doubt he’s doing drugs on top of all the alcohol he drinks. I’m not even surprised.
His hair is dyed a darker brown than his natural shade and grown longer than he’d ever prefer. Paired with the beard he’s now sporting, the effect is chilling. He looks different enough that I might walk right past him on the street and that is frustrating beyond belief.
Quickly trudging over to me, he grabs my shirt, tugging me inside before pushing me against the wall and slamming the door shut beside me.
“Anyone see you leave this morning?” He flicks through a crack in the blinds, frantically looking left and right.
“I don’t know and I don’t care if they have.” I bite, shoving him off of me. I swing the duffel bag down on the dirty bed. “This is it. I’mdone. This is the last thing I’m doing for you.” I frown, disgusted with myself for even doing that much. “You’ve got your money. You’ve got your clothes. If you contact me again, I won’t hesitate to go to the fucking cops—” I bite, turning towards the door.
Suddenly, he presses into my back, winding me as my chest knocks against the door. He pulls my hair back, my scalp stinging as I try and grasp at the door to steady myself.
“What’d I say about your fucking attitude, boy? You think you can talk to me like that?” He grunts, pushing my face into the door. I try to push off, but he’s got the advantage of surprise on me. Pinned like some sort of criminal, he keeps me locked and subdued.
Shit.
I can feel sickness rise in my throat as all the hard memories of what he’s done to me in my life flood back.
I told myself I’d never be in this position again. Ipromisedmyself. Now look at me.
“Let me go.” I breathe heavily, trying to stifle my fear.
“You’ve forgotten who’s in charge here.” His tone coming out rough. “I’mthe dad. You do as I say, or else I have to correct it.” His vile words, the Jack Daniels on his breath and the pressure against my back sends a horrid memory flashing in my mind. I freeze, caught between anger and disgust.
All of a sudden, cold metal presses into my spine. A chilling wave of dread washes over me.
I pinch my eyes shut, my stomach knotting.
“Yeah, you remember what that is, don’t you?” He laughs.
I rememberexactlywhat that is.
He’d only pull it on me when he wasreallyon one of his benders. And when he did…he made sure I wouldn’t forget it.
“You can’t be serious.”
“Does this feel like a joke to you?” He presses the pistol into my back. My legs feel like jelly as he leans close, whispering, and I swallow hard. “You think I wouldn’t do it. Don’t you?”
It’s not the first time he’s threatened my life. Hell, there were some days he got really close.
No, I’m not dumb enough to think he wouldn’t. He hates me enough to do it.
“Sit the fuck down,” he spits, finally stepping away from me and pushing me towards the bed.
I make my way over, raking my brain of how I got here again. Just last year I had him on the ground, his blood on my hands. I felt powerful. Like I’ve finally earned my freedom. But right now…I can’t help but feel totally helpless as I stare at the weapon in his hands.
I sit on the edge of the bed, making sure my back isn’t turned to him.
“Why are you doing this? I’ve given you everything you’ve asked for.” I breathe through my nose, my jaw clenching so hard I think my teeth might chip.
He takes a deep breath, scratching his forehead with the back of his hand, conveniently holding the gun. “See, that’s your problem. You keep saying that you’ve given meeverything. But you haven’t.” He shakes his head, looking back at the window.
I watch the gun in his hand. His finger resting loosely on the trigger.
He walks over to the dresser on the opposite side of the room, and I see now that there’s some white powder lined on the desk. Taking a big sniff of one, he stands up straight, dusting off his nose. It’s like he’s somewhere else for a moment before his focus turns back to me. “Itoldyou to come home. You’re supposed to be withme.You’re my son. You’re supposed. To be. Withme.” He bites.
My eyes widen. “You’vegotto be joking.” I huff out a laugh. “You’re fucking insane!”
