Gabe’s eyes flicker over to mine and I feel a pang of guilt hit my chest. He doesn’t look like his happy go lucky self. He looks like he’s lost all his charm that I’ve come to know. With bags under his eyes and greasy hair, it looks like he hasn’t been doing well. Was this my fault?
“Shit…” he mutters under his breath. “I had a whole speech prepared but now that I’m here…” He coughs to clear his throat, awkwardly looking over at Elijah and back to me. Taking a step over in my direction, he fidgets with the sleeves of his black long sweater.
Where’s his coat? He must be cold.
“Tobias,” he sucks in a big breath. “I crossed a line when you trusted me. There’s no excuse for it. I’ve hated myself for it ever since that night.” His face is twisted like he’s mortified in himself. “I just need you…youbothto know how sorry I am.” He looks to Elijah and then back at me.
I shift awkwardly on my feet. I know Elijah probably sees it differently than I do. But I can’t help this nagging feeling that Gabe was only trying to help. The fact is, I was having a really bad night. I was spiraling, panicked, and maybe it wasn’t the “right” way to calm me down…but I mean…itworked.When he kissed me, I came to. I was confused, yeah, but at least I wasn’t hurting myself anymore. It wasn’t perfect, and it might not have been textbook, but I don’t think his intentions were cruel.
I’ve felt what it feels like when someone…takessomething from you that you didn’t freely give. It feels wrong and sick and…this didn’t feel like that.
I look down at the ground as he focuses his attention on Elijah.
“Elijah, I know you don’t know me very well and that was an incredibly bad impression…but, Tobias turned into a really good friend of mine…and it’s something I really value. I know you may never forgive me for doing what I did…and you don’t have to.” He swallows deeply. “I just…I owed you an apology.”
I glance at Elijah—his jaw is clenched so tight it could cut glass, arms folded across his chest, boot tapping impatiently against the snow.
I’ve had that look thrown at me before and I can’t say I miss it at all.
“I’m not sure if I can forgive you. He’s the love of mylife…” Elijah grits out.
Gabe nods before hanging his head. “I know. I know and I amsosorry.”
I lick my lips, feeling uncomfortable. I need to speak up because I hate the fact Gabe’s beating himself. It’s not right.
“Gabe, I don’t think what you did was out of malice.” I shake my head.
Elijah looks at me, and I hope with everything inside of me that he understands what I’m about to say.
“I don’t make true friends that easily…and you’ve really been there for me. A lot.” I bury my hands in my pockets. “Should you have kissed me? Definitely not.” I chuckle lightly. “But…from what I can remember, I was freaking out pretty badly and you were just trying to calm me down.” I shrug. “I’m not upset with you for trying to be there for me.”
Gabe’s shoulders slacken as his lips part.
Biting my lip, I look back over at Elijah who’s looking at Gabe warily.
“That being said, Elijah is valid for feeling the way he does and his forgiveness will be completely up to him.”
Gabe nods his head looking over at him. “I completely understand.”
Elijah squints. “It’s going to take me some time to trust you. I mean…I don’t evenknowyou and from what I do know, I don’t like.”
I cringe at that comment but I see Gabe nodding.
“I’m willing to do anything to earn your trust.”
The air feels strange after that — not heavy, just raw. Like we’ve all said something we needed to.
This peaks Elijah’s interest. I can see him arch an eyebrow as he thinks that over.
“Wait.. you’d doanything?”
“Honestly, anything.” Gabe huffs out a laugh. “I want to be in your lives. Ilikebeing your friend.” His eyes float back over to mine and I give him a sympathetic smile.
“Fine.” Elijah bites out. “We’re going to need help rebuilding the lake house this summer—”
“Done. I’ll be there.” Gabe excitedly bounces on his feet.
Elijah’s eyebrows shoot up. “I haven’t even explained what we’ll need you to do.”
