I feel…at a loss for words.
“He’s…gone.” I restate. The words feeling unsure and weird on my tongue.
Elijah bites his bottom lip, looking at me with uncertainty. Honestly, I’m not sure how to react either.
I mean…how am I supposed to feel?
I’m…mad that I’ll never get to see him in handcuffs. Mad that he’ll never stand trial for what he did to me. That I’ll never see him behind bars like I’ve always imagined.
I’m sad that he stole my childhood away from me. Angry that he died without giving me a real apology. Not that I needed one…but…that’s it?
The man that’s haunted my dreams. The voice that I had screaming in my head for twenty-one years.
That presence that was always there around every corner…
Is now…gone?
A tear rolls down my face which makes me clench my fists.
Elijah sits up, concern written all over his face. “Tobias—”
“I’m not upset.” I shake my head.
“It’s okay to be—”
“I’mnot.” I rush out. “I’m…” My throat tightens. I’m… I’malone.
My eyes pinch, hearing those venomous words thrown at me way too often.
I’m the only one who will ever love you
It’s just you and I in this world
All we have is each other
No one will love you like I do
“Fuck,” I slam my hand against the side of my head, trying to knock out the loud voices seeping through. Before I can slam it again, Elijah’s hand wraps around mine, stopping its track.
“No.” He shakes his head, pulling my hand away. “He doesn’t get to do that to you. Not anymore. He lost.”
I suck in a big shaky breath, trying to calm myself down.
He’s gone.
I’m alone.
He’s gone.
“Hey,” Elijah fists my chin in his hand, pulling my attention back to his beautiful brown eyes. “I’m here with you. You’ve got me. We’ve got each other. Fuck him. He’s ahorrible, disgusting human and he’sgonenow.”
My eyes well up as I try to focus. “He’sgone.” I should be relieved.Excited,even.
“And hecannot hurt youanymore.” Elijah stresses.
I close my eyes, letting the words soothe me. “Hecan’thurt me anymore.” I repeat, letting the way Elijah run his hands up and down my arms to ground me. I feel his fingers softly wipe away the fallen tears on my cheeks. I hate the fact that they’re there at all. Derrick doesn’t deserve my tears. He deserves to rot in the ground like he was always supposed to.
I lean my head on Elijah’s, as I focus on the pressure of his hands, the way his hair smells and the words he’s telling me.
