Derrick coughs and spits off to the side as he sits up, trying to compose himself.
“If you didn’t have that gun…you’d be dead.” I say softly.
Derrick’s eyebrows raise, a sick smile tugging on his lips. “Good thing I have it then.” He winks.
Motioning to the table with the gun, he tilts his chin at me. “You just earned yourself the honors.”
I cringe. “Please no.”
“Did I teach you to talk back to me!?” All the joking tone from his voice is gone as he snaps at me.
I clench my jaw.
I wassoclose.
“Get up. And do what you’re told.” He orders again.
I suck in a deep breath, standing to my feet.
Soclose.
Derrick gets to his feet and pushes past me. Slinging his duffle bag over his arm, he picks up the packet and slams it into my chest.
“Get. It. Done.” He snaps, heading for the back door.
I look down at the matches in my hand.
Following him to the door, I take one last look at the living room.
All the late nights playing video games, watching horror movies. Walking in with wet feet from the lake. The laughter we all shared blasting music in the kitchen. Elijah and I’s love story.
Gone.
I sniff, striking the match against the rough pad of paper, watching the angry flame wave in the wind.
I’m sorry
I flick the match into the living room and watch it catch, flames licking up from the carpet.
I go to close the door, but Derrick catches my arm.
“No. Don’t close it. Let it breathe.” He smiles, staring at it like it’s a work of art.
The pain of his happiness hits my chest so deeply.
The anger that boils under my skin is nowhere near the devastation of losing Elijah.
This is it. My whole world, slipping through my fingers.
I feel lost. Empty.
I feel like I’m already dead.
***
Derrick strides ahead, heading for his beater car.
“Come on, keep up.” He calls after me.
