I take a deep breath in, even though it’s so hard with all the pressure on my chest. I rub my hand over my heart. Everything hurts.
And here he is. Elijah’s finally here to see it all. Me in all my glory, unable to hide my brokenness any longer.
Wonderful.
“I’m so sorry.” I sputter, trying to regain myself. “Elijah, he wasn’t kissing me. He seriously wasn’t—”
“I don’t care.” Elijah sighs softly. Turning around slowly, he slides down the door, joining me on the floor. “He shouldn’t have touched you. You’re drinking and unable to fend for yourself.” He looks up at the ceiling, slowly shaking his head. “He crossed a line, T.”
I sniff, wiping under my nose with my hand. We sit there for a moment in silence, feeling the weight of what just happened fill the room.
“Things have gone dark again, haven’t they.” Elijah finally says, breaking the silence.
I look over at him. He connects his eyes with mine, and I feel that overwhelming need to be surrounded by him all over again. I nod my head slowly before bowing my head. “Yeah…yeah, it has.”
He quickly crawls over to me, over the broken glass and paper, and grabs me so hard in a tight hug. I feel the tears pour down my face, but thankfully Elijah doesn’t let go. He just holds me while the emotions roll through me.
I’m seriously surprised he’s not more upset, but I’m going to take what I can get right now. Because I needed this far more than he knows. The weight of his body against mine. The smell of his neck against my face. The way he quietly soothes me with soft words of comfort as I cry.
“I’m here, T. You’re not alone,” he says quietly. “I’ve got you.”
“I’m not okay.” I suck in a long, shaky breath. “E…when I’m lonely…things get really scary.” I’m not even sure my words are coming out right between the broken shudders.
Elijah squeezes me harder. “I love you, anyway.”
My eyes pinch shut. “I can’t do this. I make stupid decisions. I’ve been fucking everything up. I—” I try to breathe but it’s hard. Elijahpulls back, sucking in a big breath and blowing out slowly. I try to mimic him, feeling my body shake from the sobs trying to escape. But, after a few tries, my breathing starts to match his.
“I love you…anyway," he repeats, his voice low and steady as his hand moves from the back of my head down my spine in slow, comforting strokes. “I love you, Tobias.Allof you. Every single part. Even the parts you hate about yourself. I almost love those the most.” He smiles softly, shifting my head under his chin so he can continue rubbing my back.
My throat tightens as my tears run off my nose and onto his lap. “Why?”
He reaches up, sliding his hand under my chin until he fists the necklace he gave me. I feel his fingers running over the band. “Because, they remind me how strong you are—”
I suck in a breath, sitting up. “No, I’m—”
He catches my shoulders. “I don’t think you’re strong because youdon’thave problems, Tobias. I think you’re strong because you’re still heredespitethose problems.”
I set my head on his shoulder, allowing him to continue rubbing my back and soothing me with these kind words. “I’m never going to think of you any less than strong. You’re my person. And I’m yours. It’s as simple as that,” he says, kissing me softly on my forehead.
I close my eyes, feeling the pressure of his lips against my skin.
Finally.
Finallysomething actually goes right, for once.
“You’re not still mad at me?” I dare to ask, squeezing his waist.
Elijah takes a deep breath in, rubbing my arm gently. “I think…I think we have a lot to talk about. Like, why you kept seeing your dad from me. Or, why you chose to tellGabeand not me.”
I open my mouth to begin to explain, but before I can, Elijah covers my lips with his palm. “But, for right now. I think we should press pause. Get you fed. Put some water in you and take a long hot shower.”
I sulk, my shoulders dropping as I crumble back into his arms. Okay, maybe that’s for the best. The booze is definitely still in my system and I don’t think I should be having any type of serious conversation right now.
“Let me just take you home.” Elijah sighs softly. “Will you let me do that?” He asks, looking down at me.
I look into his eyes and breathe in deeply. Nodding my head, I let him stand me up, and guide me to the door with his arm around my waist.
I look back at the mess we’re leaving behind. “What about all of this?”
