I arrive atJude’s Placehalf past eleven. It’s a little later than I wanted to be, but there was more traffic than I thought coming up this way. It’s only mid November but I’d hate to see how busy the roads will get even closer to the holidays.
I park the car in the back parking lot and smile when I see Tobias’s truck here.
Nice to know he’s only a few paces away.
I can hear Christmas music thumping from out here. It’s a shitty time of year for me, but knowing that I could be surrounded by Tobias and my friends could make it feel a little better.
This week has felt so…dark and heavy. Not talking to the one person who understands me the most makes it even worse. Knowing I’ll be able to hold him shortly, if he forgives me, gives me a little hope of feeling better.
I walk up to the front door and open it up to see all the staff, their family members and even some customers here, dancing, drinking and singing along to the Christmas songs.
I hear Claire gasp from the bar, pointing at me and making everyone turn their heads. “You’re here!” she squeals, kicking her feet. She’s perched on the bar, wearing a green reindeer sweater as a dress, with a felt antler headband and little gold jingle bells dangling.
Actually, as I look around and say hello to everyone, it seems like everyone’s decked out in Christmas sweaters and an assortment of unique Christmas themed hats. The place looks fantastic. White twinkle lights draped from the exposed beams above us, Christmas tree decked out in the corner, tinsel and snowflakes around every corner. Everything just looks…perfect.It makes my heart throb, knowing how much my dad would’ve loved to see this.
She hops off the wood and prances over to me with open arms. “I’m so happy you’re here.” Claire smiles, wrapping her arms around my neck. I give her a tight hug, rubbing her back.
“I’m underdressed.” I look down at my black winter pea coat and dark jeans. I fix Tobias’s backwards hat on top of my head, hoping he’ll love to see me in it.
She waves me off. “You’rehere. That’s all that matters. You know how happy this will make him?” She squeezes my shoulders tightly. “He’s been so upset since you left on Halloween.” Shaking her head, I can see the concern written all over her face. “I don’t think he’s been okay.”
My stomach tightens, as a ball in my throat rises. I whip my head around, trying to spot him in the crowd of people around us. “I’ve been trying to call him. Where is he?”
“Umm… he’s in the office.” She cringes. “He’salwaysin there, nowadays. Everyone’s been steering clear.”
Everyone’s been steering clear? So he’s been alone. Struggling,by himself.
“Okay, thanks Claire.” I pat her shoulder and walk away.
My feet don’t move fast enough as I march towards the door.
Panic rising in my throat. Stuck in a room by himself is the last place I’d want him to be.
I need to get to him. I need him to feel safe and okay.
Fuck. I never should’ve left. I’ll never let him feel alone again.
As I walk up to the door, I can hear loud shuffling and raised voices on the other side.
I twist the handle and shove the door open.
My foot nearly skids on something cold and wet. The stench hits me instantly. It’s sharp, chemical, burning up my nose and straight into my throat, making me gag.
Vodka. Ithasto be vodka.
The office is completelytrashed. Papers thrown all over the ground. Picture frames, smashed. Books on the floor.
What the hell happened in here!?
But what stops me in my tracks is what I see next.
Something I never thought I’d see in a million years. It might’ve been my fear, but it was never supposed to be a reality.
No, this was the last thing I thought would come true.
Tobias’s legs struggle to keep him upright as Gabe pins him to the wall by his collar, lips pressed against his.
And all I see is red.
