A few minutes later, restless, I head to the bathroom—only to hear his low, hushed voice.
“I can’t believe you. I—” He stops when he sees me, turning away. “I’ve got to go.” He hangs up abruptly.
I feel a weird prickly sensation on the back of my neck. “Who was that?” I ask, holding out his coffee.
“Yari. The ice machine’s acting up again.”
“Again? Thought you fixed it.”
“It needs another part,” he says plainly. He kisses my cheek, moving past me. “Don’t worry, I’ll handle it.”
“Aren’t you going to wash your hands?” I block the way, stepping in front of him. He lets out a small, strained laugh.
“Already did. Let’s go.” He pats me on the chest with the back of his hand and pushes through the bathroom door.
September
4
Tobias
“You’ve got your car charger, your wallet, your toothbrush?” I list out the items I know Elijah may forget as I run down the staircase. He’s forgetful when he’s focused on other things. Other things, meaning leaving me behind as he goes back to school.
I stop and turn to look at him, still standing by the front door. His back leans against it, hood up, hands in his pockets, shoulders slouched. It pains me to see that the light in his eyes, the one that was there just a few days ago, is gone. He seems so far away in his own head.
I drop my shoulders and tilt my head. “E.” I frown, walking over to him. I push his hood back, and place my palms on his cheeks to force him to look into my eyes as he rests his head back against the door. “It’s not going to be forever,” I say, glancing back and forth between his honey-brown eyes.
His eyebrows furrow. “Why is this so easy for you?” He lightly bangs his head onto the door, gripping me by the waist. “You’re okay with me being away?”
A pang hits my heart as I hear those words. If he only knew how hard it is to let him go. But I can’t let him know that, or he won’t leave. After losing Jude—our dad—it would be so easy to stop moving when a loss like that takes over. Last year, he almost completely shut down, and it scared the living hell out of me to see him like that. Butthe fact that he’s still pushing through this pain, still moving forward, is something I would never want to take away from him. Telling him to stay wouldn’t help him—it’d hold him back. I can’t be the reason he stops moving.
I promised our dad that I’d take care of him, and I’ll do anything to fulfill that promise.
I place my hands on the door on either side of his head. “Let me make this very clear. Being away from you isnevereasy for me. But I know what we have is so strong that a little distance won’t matter.” I try to paint a confident smile on my face. “We’ve been through worse.”
A flicker of sadness flashes over Elijah’s face as he remembers what I’m referring to. He drops his eyes to my chest and slowly nods his head. “You’re right.” He pulls me in and buries his face in my neck as I thread my fingers in his hair. “You’realwaysright.” He takes a big breath in.
I do the same, slowly raking my hand through his hair to try and calm us both down.
Five hours between us isn’t so bad. Some people have to hop on a plane to see their loved ones, so I know we’re lucky. But still, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t worried about how I was going to fare without him constantly here around me. I’ve grown so accustomed to having him here with me. He makes me feel so grounded when everything just feels like too much.
My mind drifts to a place I don’t want it to. I try to shake it off and focus back on Elijah.
“I guess you should hit the road before it gets too late. I don’t want you to get there in the dark,” I mutter, leaning my forehead on his.
“Okay,” he sighs softly, looking down at my lips.
“Okay,” I repeat, my hand slowly drifting from the back of his neck to his collarbone and over his chest. Running my fingertips softly overhim puts me in a trance. The oversized sweater he’s wearing is mine, and it looks so damn good on him. It’s one of my old football ones, and as much as I hate some of the memories of my dad being the coach, it looks sexy as hell on him.
“Tobias?”
“Hmm?” I take a deep breath, letting his scent fill my lungs. It pulls me back to soft, dewy mornings in our bedroom, sunlight spilling across the floor, the warm weight of his body pressed against me, nothing else in the world but us.
Elijah loves sleeping naked, and it wasn’t long before I picked up on the habit. Our limbs tangled up together. Tossing and turning in our sheets. Hands constantly drifting all over each other’s bodies…
“You want me to help you with this before I go?” He smiles, lips brushing against mine. His hand grazes the outline of my dick through my pants, and the spark it sends jolts me back to the present. I glance down to see my groin pressed against his leg, like a cat in heat.
“I can, you know.” He slowly drops his bag off his shoulder and onto the floor. “Make you feel good.”
