I hear the back door slide open. A few people in costumes laugh and chat their way past me, down to the grass.
They have no idea what type of night I’m having.
WhyamI even here?
Everything in me is telling me to hop in my car and leave. I look down at my keys, jiggling them in my hand.
Fuck, I hate Derrick. Such a goddamn nuisance. Always just a haunting shadow, making sure we don’t forget about him. My blood boils just thinking about what Tobias has had to go through since he was young. Dealing with this goddamn shit.
Alone.
Fuck. I hate the fact that he’salwaysalone.
I bury my head in my hands as my brain flickers images of Tobias. A young boy. Alone and scared, in his room. Tortured by that fucking monster.
He didn’t deserve it then. He doesn’t deserve it now.
I stand up straight, fixing myself.
No, he’s not alone. I promised him he’ll never have to go through this alone and I meant it.
Okay, so he didn’t tell me, but maybe it was a defense mechanism. Maybe he told Gabe because…okay, I don’t know why he told Gabe, but I’m choosing to ignore that fact right now.
Right now, Tobias needs me.
I put my own grievances aside and walk back into the house. Making a beeline for the kitchen, I set out on creating a spread.
Quickly warming up a few slices of pepperoni pizza in the microwave, I place some cool ranch chips on a plate, and grab a cup full of water.
Once I sober him up, I’ll get him to talk to me. We’ll make up and everything will be fine. I’ll show him he can trust me. I’ll show him I’ll always be here.
I carefully guide myself through the bodies of people, pushing through until I get back to Claire’s door. I left her in here with him to hopefully soothe him down, so I hope he’s feeling better.
Placing the cup in my mouth, I twist the door handle and make my way inside.
Until I see the one thing that stops me right in my tracks.
I grab the cup from my mouth and take a step back.
At some point, while I was downstairs, I guess Gabe thought it was a smart idea to come upstairs to comfort Tobias.
His grubby little hand rubs his back as Tobias is hunched over, head in his hands.
Gabe’s the first to look up at me, confusion on his face like he has the right to be confused right now.
“Elijah—” Gabe starts.
Tobias whips his head up, his eyes puffy and red. Black eye makeup smears down his cheeks, making my stomach twist. “Elijah?” he exclaims, shifting toward me.
I shake my head, stepping further back.
“Elijah, wait!” Tobias gasps, getting up.
I don’t give him the chance. He can stay with his new comfort zone. I guess I was so fucking stupid to believe it’d be me.
After everything we’ve shared, I guess it wasn’t good enough.Iwasn’t good enough.
Just like it was back in high school. He’s always picking someone else over me.
