“Did he say you couldn’t change your mind?”Alice asks me that night.
My phone is propped up against a stack of books, and I’m going a little out of my mind because I promised myself I’d take every opportunity I could, and when push came to shove, I turned it down.
“No, but he did put the fear of the unknown into me.”
“You’ve built him up too much.He’s just a guy.I don’t know why you’re so afraid of him.”
Everyone’s afraid of him.
“He’s the most decorated journalist of his age.He’s spoken with presidents, celebrities, killers.My first week, Andy complained that the women’s league uniforms weren’t sexy enough, and Sterling stormed over and made him apologize.He almost got fired.”It was then I understood the leverage Sterling had.“I can’t just walk up and ask him how his night was.”
“Why not?”
Because I want him to like me too much.“Because I want his respect as a professional.”
“Then ask about work.”
I almost laugh.One doesn’t just chitchat with Sterling Ross.
“Tell me you had a good day at least.”
She scowls, brushing hair out of her eyes.It leaves a white streak of flour across her forehead.“I was.Then I stopped at the post office, andhewas there.”
Ah.“It was bound to happen at some point.”
“He broke your heart.He doesn’t deserve to be smiling and buying stamps.”
Maybe.“That’s the thing though; my heart doesn’t feel broken.Just bruised.”Aching for a love that lasts.Something real.
In the end, we weren’t a couple; we were two ghosts, haunting the same house.We ate together, slept together, breathed the same air … but there was no life left between us.
“He’s still a shithead,” she says.
Alice loves Ferntree; she’ll never leave.We talk as often as we’re able—texts and voice memos and video calls—and it’s great.Truly.I’m blessed to have a wonderful best friend; I know how lucky I am.But it’s not the same.
There’s no comfortable coexisting in the same room.No in-the-moment jokes about silly things that you just had to be there for.It’s recaps and follow-ups and check-ins.It’sI miss yous andI wish you were heres.
I miss her.It’s lonely here, on my own.
“I appreciate you.”
“I’ve got your back, babe, always.”
The thing about growing up in a place where everyone knows you or of you is that you never feel alone.There’s a familiar, if not friendly, face around every corner.
There are few familiar faces in Chance.
Even less now.
* * *
Okay, now I’m convinced someone is pranking me.
I set my alarm twenty minutes early this morning, made it into work on time, coffee in hand, only to find one already on my desk.
A caramel latte with an extra shot.There’s a Post-it attached, in Sterling’s impeccable handwriting.
Sterling knows my coffee order?
