Pa steps into the room and doesn’t miss a beat.“I seem to remember you being obsessed with a Sterling before you left.”
I can hear murmurs of conversation coming from the dining room, which hopefully means they aren’t hearing this.
“I wasn’t obsessed.”
“Those aren’t his articles you have pinned above your desk?”he teases.
Oh God, he’s right; they are still there.New rule: Sterling and Lucky cannot see my bedroom.
“I should go help them set the table.”
Ma shoves a butter knife in my hand and sets me in front of the rolls.“They’ll figure it out.”
Pa is less subtle.“They care about you.”
“We’re friends.”
“It would be okay if it was more.Relationships don’t always look one way.If three of you want something different, then you should have it.Don’t hold yourself back from something good because of what anyone else might think.”
It sucks all the air from my lungs, and I lower the knife to force a full breath back in.“It’s not …” I start, but one look at him, and I know he knows too.“It’s just me, okay?It’s not—they’re not—” I take another breath.“They’re happy, and I’m happy for them, and I’m dealing with the rest of it.It’s fine.It’ll be fine.”
He shares a look with Ma over my shoulder, but I’m saved from any further discussion of a throuple situation when Alice’s car pulls up outside.
She rushes me as soon as she’s in the front door, almost dropping the stack of Tupperware she’s carrying before Sterling steps in and rescues it.I squeeze her tighter and bury my face into her shoulder.Every bad thought melts in the face of sugar and flour and cinnamon.
“I’ve missed you so much.”
She lowers her voice to a whisper.“There’s extra cinnamon rolls in the car.”
“I love you.”
Alice is the best person in the world.Hands down, no competition.
Hilariously, the first time I ever heard the termpolyamorywas after Alice and I marched up to our parents to tell them we were getting married someday, only to then have to explain to them that we meant as friends, obviously, and that we’d also have husbands, duh.
A few awkward explanations—and my ma excusing herself to cackle in the kitchen—later, a whole new world of possibilities opened up to me.
Alice is sharp, of eyes and mind, a riot of black ringlets cascading around her at all times, with a laugh that will restore joy to your heart.
She’s my moon, my stars, my faith when all is lost.I can’t imagine life without her.
“Oh my gosh.”She pulls back.“Remember the state fair I was telling you about?They got back to me!I’m in.This time next year, you’ll be looking at a gold-medal baker.”
“Heck yeah, I will be.That’s amazing.”That’s Alice for you.“Hey, I’ll come cover it, get some photos you can use for the website.Make it a girls’ weekend too.Drink a little, flirt a little …”
“You might not want to tell your boyfriends that in case they do something drastic.”
“We’re justfriends.”Why is that so hard for everyone to understand?
“Who you’re in love with.”
“Shh.”I cover her mouth with my hand.“That’s between you, me, and the cinnamon rolls I’ll be comfort-eating later.”
* * *
After dinner, Ma puts music on, and Lucky pulls me out of my chair to dance.Mostly, he picks me up and spins us until I’m worried dinner will make a reappearance, but it’s the lightest I’ve felt in months.
When the song ends, Sterling holds out his hand.“May I cut in?”
