It’s only when several people jump out of their seats that I regret slamming his door behind me.
CHAPTER39
DEFEAT DOESN’T SUIT YOU, DEAR
IVY
The peak of summer brings back a much-missed warmth. Unfortunately, my allergies hitched a ride as well. Still, I brave the pollen strongholds to soak in every ounce of Vitamin D I can.
Sometimes my lungs can’t fully expand until I’ve walked outside. Other days I don’t feel quite myself until I’m looping a reformer strap on my wrist, Emma’s glowing smile reflected back at me on my left. Other times it’s not until I’m sitting next to Lincoln on his sofa, listening to him practice a script.
I’m still searching. Maybe what I’m looking for isn’t tangible.
Except then I find Lincoln, and it’s as if everything I could ever want to see or touch has been distilled into a single point. A nexus of want. Mind, body, soul. Longing in unison.
As soon as the elevator doors open, I’m on him, taking the laptop out of his hands and climbing onto the couch to straddle his lap. “I have news.”
Since leaving Darcy’s office, coming here is all I’ve thought about. Of course, traffic was bumper to bumper all the way down 17th Street, so what should have been a fifteen-minute bus ride turned into an hour. It did give me time to text Emma and Fil, though.
Emma said to sleep on it (called it), then added that Charlie said to go with my gut. Fil’s message included at least three GIFs and most said the same thing.
I agree with all of them. Which is why I need Lincoln to be the tiebreaker. I also want to know what he thinks, what he’d do in my situation.
Lincoln drops his hands to my hips. “Hello, darling.”
I’m all ready to launch into Darcy’s offer, but something is wrong. He’s too quiet, too stiff.
“What is it?” I ask.
His gaze is lowered, stuck somewhere around my collarbone, while his hands— his freakinghands— knead and massage my thighs. I’m trying to keep it together because this seems important, even if my blood is racing right now.
“Nothing I can’t handle.”
I’m sure. I cover his hands with mine, stilling them. “Tell me.”Let me be here for you.
He fights it, his jaw rolling under calm eyes. He’s so damn effusive.
“Kyle knows about Pulse.”
Dread lands heavy in my gut. Oh, shit. Of all the people to find out, I can only imagine that asshole’s reaction. Even if he didn’t immediately go for an insult (and I’ll run naked down Main Street if he didn’t), he definitely followed it up with something disgusting.
He’s so fucking predictable.
Lincoln’s lips pull taut. “The one time the prick decides to rub his two fucking brain cells together, and it had to be now.”
“Fuck, Lincoln. I’m so sorry.” But it’s a good point. How did he find out? I can’t imagine Kyle downloading any app made by women, for women.
If I dial 666, will the devil appear? I think it’s time he created a new hell, and I have the perfect guinea pig.
“Now, darling, I know you aren’t going to say something ridiculous like this was your fault.” Lincoln tucks a strand of hair behind my ear, brushing his fingers along my jaw. He knows how much I love that, but I won’t let him distract me.
Because I’m suddenly remembering the dinner. Fuck.The dinner.The notification. I press my head into my hands. “It is my fault, and that’s twice now my mouth has gotten you into big trouble.” It’s a wonder he hasn’t broken up with me yet.
“How do you figure that?”
“Reed’s dinner. I knocked your cell off the table, and Kyle picked it up. There was a message from Pulse on your phone, addressed to Mr. Silver. I didn’t even think.”
He curls his hand around my chin, lifting until I’m hit with the full force of his gaze. Every time I think I’m prepared for it, I find myself falling all over again.
