Jesus. My throat’s so dry, Curly McLain’s about to roll on into town.
So that’s why he was able to make that night as incredible as it was. Why he can play the perfect boyfriend so easily with me.
I just have to stop forgetting it’s an act.
CHAPTER25
LET YOURSELF IN (NOW STAY)
LINCOLN
I’ve only ever lived with family before. Never had the occasion to have a partner stay beyond an evening or weekend. When — if — I imagined it, I always expected it to be different from living with Manny or my father— less comfortable in some ways, more in others.
But when I shuffle out of my bedroom to the sun blaring the last of its morning light and find Ivy already settled in on the couch, laptop open on her thighs, a coffee at her lips, completely at ease and looking as though she’s never lived anywhere else, well…
I’m happy to discover how wrong I was.
“I see you’re letting yourself into my apartment.”
She looks up, and her smile rearranges my whole outlook on life. “Is there a problem?”
“Only that I didn’t wake up with you beside me,” I admit, my voice rough with sleep. I make a mental note to try recording more in the mornings. Perhaps Ivy can be my test audience.
As I lean in to kiss her good morning, the lingering scent of sweat under soap and the fresh flush of her cheeks tell me she’s already run and showered this morning. I’m contemplating abandoning all the day’s plans to do nothing but breathe her in when she points to a second mug that is steaming on the coffee table in front of me.
“Tea,” she says.
It’s dark enough to have been properly steeped, with a dash of milk.
“There was only one button on your kettle machine, so if it’s wrong, it’s not my fault.”
Christ, she’s adorable. I’d love nothing more than to distract her with my mouth, but I take the offered tea and groan when, fuck, it’s perfect.
She’s perfect.
Ivy looks up, waiting for my reaction.
I lower myself onto the seat beside her, draping my free arm around her, pressing us together from shoulder to knee. “It’s an interesting way to propose, but I accept.”
She lights up at the praise. Yes, I’ll take every morning like this.
“What are you working on?” I ask, nodding to her laptop. There’s an ungodly number of tabs open, the foremost one a job listing.
She stares down at it, hesitation stitched into every pore. “I decided it was time to get a job.”
“You decided, or it’s something you’re doing to keep your mum happy?”
Her worry lines deepen. “I can’t do nothing forever.”
Why not?I want to ask.Move in, let me keep you. I want to.
“If this is about money?—”
“It’s not,” she says, strongly enough that I believe her. “I miss being productive. Even when I hated working at Helix, at least I felt like I was useful.” Her eyes flutter closed as I start to massage the tension from her shoulder. “I just wish going back to work didn’t feel so hopeless.”
“Ivy, I truly believe you can do anything you put your heart into. There’s nothing shameful about a job that pays the bills, but that doesn’t mean you have to consign yourself to one reality forever.” If anyone knows a thing or two about reinvention, it’s me. “Apply for something new. If they don’t like your résumé, they won’t interview you. If you don’t like the interview, don’t accept the job. Think of it like the masquerade. You’re simply trying it on for size.”
She nods with her eyes closed, sighing so sweetly I have to abort whatever plan my cock begins crafting. I give her shoulder one final squeeze before pulling my hand away.
