“You know?” Ivy asks, blinking up at me with fear in her eyes. It’ll be the last time she ever doubts my devotion. I’ll make sure of that.
“I told you— you don’t need to hide anything from me.”
I’ll be glad to be rid of the pretense. I can’t look at her and not feel my heart swell with love. There’s no hiding from how much I want to keep her. I want her to know that every word I’ve ever said has been real.
“Darling,” I say, hating the fall of her shoulders, the hurt that creases her brow. It’s killing me. “Come here.” Gently, I pull her into my arms, just to hold her.
“My heart is yours,” I say, hoping to coax it back as I ghost my knuckles along her jaw. She’s the sun, moon, and stars, and I’m merely a lonely astronaut, caught in orbit around her. “Wholeheartedly and without reservation. It’s been devoted to you since we met, and I don’t care how that sounds. Take it. Take anything you want. I’ll give it freely. Nothing could possibly compare now that I’ve fallen for you. A hundred— no, a million— sunsets, wouldn’t suffice.”
The moonlight shimmers off her skin, cool where she should always be warm. For years, I’ve attempted to fulfill the fantasies of strangers, but right now, I’d settle for being hers. She’s everything all at once, a little at a time. The meaning of life condensed and distilled. It’s never too much, could never be such a thing.
“I’m not going anywhere,” I tell her, meaning every word. “You’re not going anywhere. I just found you. I’m never letting you out of my sight. I’m only sorry that being with me means choosing all of this,” I wave toward the house, “as well.”
“I happen to like some of this,” she says.
“Then I don’t see a problem, because I’ve fallen in love with you, and though I’d prefer not to, I’m not going to give you up without a fight.”
Ivy blinks. “You’re in love with me?”
“Desperately.”
She’s a powerhouse. An ever-burning star, rocketing through the night sky. And even when she’s passed, the memory of her light stays with you, lighting the wick of hope within you.
“But I’m messy,” she says, and it wouldn’t be Ivy if she wasn’t attempting to talk her way out of even this.
“You’re relaxed.”
She huffs, disbelieving. “I’m emotional.”
I slide my hands to her back, guiding her more firmly between my legs until I can rest my chin on her stomach. Starlight surrounds her. “Your passion is one of the things I love best about you.”
“And I wake up early.” I start nodding, undeterred. “And I’ll talk your ear off, and I’ll hum all the time?—”
I pull her into a kiss, licking into her sweet mouth until I feel her melting against me.
“I’ll still love you,” I say, the words captured in the small gap between us. “I love every version of you that exists and every version I’ve yet to meet. And even if you don’t believe me, it’s okay.” I reach for her, sliding my hands up her neck, cupping her jaw. “Because I’ll get to prove it to you.” Her lips are soft as I kiss them. “Over and over again. Every minute of every day.” More kisses, each gentler than the last. “And I’ll keep on loving you, through every fight, every broken sleep?—”
“Every awful weekend?” she suggests, gripping my forearms, a tear breaking free from her lashes. I kiss this too.
“May we have many,” I joke in a whisper, my chest lifting when she finally smiles.
“You’re too much.” Ivy clings to my shirt, pulling.
“I’ll try to stop,” I say between kisses.
“Don’t,” she breathes. “Never stop.”
There’s nothing left to do except kiss her, slowly, deliberately, knowing now we have time, so much time, forever— because I won’t allow anything less. “Your very existence commands my attention. Being in love with you comes naturally. There is no choice. I could stop it no easier than I could my heart from beating.”
CHAPTER49
YOU, ME, US
IVY
The sound of a car starting as we exit the garden almost knocks me off my feet. I’d be on my ass if Lincoln didn’t catch me.
“Is that Astrid?” I squint through the dark, but all I can make out is a tan coat. It’s almost midnight. “Where is she going?”
