Every single hour of pushing and learning and growing.Every sleepless night.Every time I pimped myself and my work out just to get seen, get heard in a sea of voices vying for the same.
All because it would boost the business.
And in the end, I was relegated to being the glorified spokesman.
As quickly as it had come, my laughter died, and with one long, deep breath, I came back to myself, finishing my drink with one large swallow.
“For what it’s worth, you didn’t deserve that, Sam.I know we don’t really know each other, but no one who spends any time around you could miss the fact that you’re a good person.”
As her words, her conviction, settled under my skin, my breath caught in my throat.I pushed the next words out.“It’s worth a lot.”
“Can I ask why you broke up?”
In for a penny.What was another truth added to what I’d already shared?“She wanted to have children, and I didn’t.”
Tiffany shuffled closer, her hand landing on my shoulder, her face clouded in concern.“I’m sorry.”
“What for?”
“That would have been difficult.You cared for her, and not being on the same page sucks.Not to mention how she’s acted since.”
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
“Do you?Want children?”I tried not to think about why I wanted to know.
“No.I knew early on that marriage and kids weren’t for me.I like kids, but I’ve never been inclined to being a parent.I’m happy being a kickass Aunty.”
I thought of Gracie and how happy Harry was now.“I know how you feel.”
It seemed Tiffany had the same thought.“I still can’t believe I didn’t know Harry had a kid.I’m glad he’s happy.He always seemed so solitary.”
“To be fair, he didn’t like owning this place.”
“Why did he start it anyway?I’ve never asked him.”
“When our parents died, he took it really hard.After I’d left, he’d been the one to keep an eye on them.He saw more than I did of their decline.He said it made him think about his future and why he’d always played it safe when life was so short.He bought this place because he hoped we could run it together, but I’d just received funding for my third bar, and I couldn’t get back home.I’ve always felt bad that I wasn’t able to help him run it.But then it turned out I didn’t need to.”
“Because a hotheaded bartender went and took over.”
“Tiffany, that’s not what I meant.I’m glad you were here to help.I’m sorry I never told you that earlier.I guess I felt guilty.You were a reminder that I’d let my brother down.And if I’m honest, I was jealous.”
“Really?”
“Yes.You managed to do what I couldn’t.And you were able to help my brother when I’d abandoned him.”
“You didn’t abandon him.”
“He didn’t even mention me to you.”
“Sam, no.Ok, he didn’t talk about you, but we never talked about anything personal.I was too busy taking over the bar, and he was busy trying to have a baby.But it’s obvious he cares about you.”
“Do you have brothers?”It sounded like she spoke from experience.
“Three.They’re …” She chewed on the inside of her cheek.“Ok, if you ever tell them I said this, I’ll kill you, but I love those jerks more than anything.I don’t always get along with them, but I wouldn’t want anyone else in my corner.”
“I know we don’t really know each other,” I said, mirroring her own words, “but I imagine they feel the same.You’re a force, Tiffany, and I mean that in the best way possible.For what it’s worth, I’m glad I have you in my corner.”
Her expression was thick with vulnerability.Our eyes met and locked, and I felt far too raw for what we had established was a purely physical arrangement.
In wordless agreement, we both downed the rest of our drinks and scrambled to refill.Anything to break the tension.To reestablish the status quo.
Because there was one thing I wasn’t able to give to anyone right now, or maybe ever again, and that was my heart.
