“Who knows, maybe you’ll change your mind.”He stroked a wayward hair behind Audrey’s ear, watching her lovingly.“Sometimes it just takes meeting the right person.”
“Maybe for everyone else, but I’m not going to change my mind on this.”
“How does Hannah feel about that?”
I took a deep breath, taking a long look at the ceiling as I rolled the question around in my head.Hannah and I were in a weird holding pattern at the moment, one where I wasn’t sure what the future looked like.The last time we’d talked about it, she’d made the same comment Jackson had, potentially hoping I’d change my mind if we ever made it that far.
Now, I was beginning to wonder if our opposing views weren’t another sign that we’d never get far enough for her to find out.
“She’d prefer it if I felt differently,” I said, working my way around how I wanted to say it.Ripping the bandaid off had rarely failed in me in the past.“Honestly, even if I wanted to, I don’t know that I can see it with Hannah.I thought I’d feel more by now.And if it isn’t love, what are we doing?”
“You’re having fun, seeing where things go.It doesn’t have to be forever right now.Just take it at your own pace.”Audrey picked up her mug only to find it empty, and Jackson immediately stood, offering to replace it.He ducked down to steal a kiss from Audrey, and their easy intimacy caused a spike of jealousy within me.
As a highly capable, secure, functioning adult, I enjoyed being alone.But that didn’t mean I couldn’t also enjoy the fantasy of a “someone” in my life who felt as integral to my existence as these two so obviously did about each other.
“No relationship works from the start,” Jackson said, pouring another cup.My apartment was small enough that there really wasn’t any delineation between the couch and the kitchen (everything was probably five steps away at all times and the whole place was about ten in total).But it had character, and I could live alone on my salary and still save, and that’s all I cared about.Jackson wiped a spot on the counter (such a polite boy).“Maybe it’s good that you’re going through a rough patch now.”
“Exactly,” Audrey continued, following his lead.“If you can work this out, then you know you two can make it work long term.”
Is that all I needed to do?Push through this?I didn’t have enough experience to judge what was worth accepting and what I should stand firm on.
“You know me, Auds.I know I’m not built for the same type of happily ever after most people go for.But forever—or commitment,” I correct, “still matters.And it should be something I’m certain about.Someone I’m certain about.”
Jackson returned to Audrey’s side.“So, you do want something serious?I just assumed …”
I knew what he assumed.What everyone assumed.“Hell, yes.Eventually.And with the right person.Who doesn’t want to wake up next to someone who’s sweet when you’re sad, values your mind, and looks at you like they can’t believe they got so lucky?”
Audrey smiled at her fiancé.“Sounds perfect.”
Ugh, they were so cute I couldn’t even be mad at the blatant lovefest.I should have known this was bound to happen as soon as I let Jackson inside.But it gave me the opportunity to slip into the kitchen and get another coffee.My blood levels were roughly seventy percent caffeine at this point.
“Alright, enough of this,” I said as I dropped back onto the couch.“That’s twice now you’ve changed the subject so that you could avoid planning this wedding.I swear, the two of you are impossible.Maybe we should start with something simple.Like the date.”
Jackson hummed, considering.“I’d prefer not to be working, so that kind of rules out the rest of this year.”
Beside him, Audrey sat up, surprised.“Even if it didn’t, I would.What happened to not rushing the engagement?”
He pulled her back in with an arm around her waist.“It’s not rushing when I already know I’m going to spend the rest of my life with you.”They came together for a long, sweet kiss.
“What did I say about PDA!”I protected my mug while I playfully nudged Audrey’s leg with my foot.She pulled out of the kiss with a laugh.
“How’s Sam?”
I should have been happy about a change in subject.And I would have, had the subject not been that.
“Still an ass, thanks for asking.”My foot started nervously tapping on the floor, and I stilled it.“He uh, asked me if I wanted to work with him on fixing up the bar.Said he needed someone with experience with the local market.”God, he was such a snob.“I told him I’d think about it.”
“What’s stopping you?”
“You mean, apart from the fact that he’s a smug son of a bitch and I hate him?”
Audrey threw her head back.“You don’t hate him.”
“Like hell, I don’t.”
“Tiff, I’ve known you long enough now to know when you really hate someone.”
I counted on my fingers.“He’s arrogant, smug, cocky—”
