“Then, what is the truth?”
I stared out the window at the city, considering.“That I wanted to be somewhere that didn’t remind me of my mistakes.Somewhere I could forget Piper and how naïve I’d been.”
“You could have done that anywhere.Why here?”
“Because it’s home.”
“I’m leaving tomorrow,” he said abruptly.“Have to head back to NYC and finalize the last of the details before opening.”
I nodded, silent.I’d known he wouldn’t be in town for long but was still sad he had to leave.Having him here had bolstered my confidence.Reminded me that I had once been fearless.It felt so long ago now.
He straightened.“Can I say something you won’t like?”
“I’m an idiot.”
“Oh, you already knew that?Ok.In that case, I’ll let you in on a little secret.Kind of an inside tip.”He leaned in.“Us self-sufficient types can sometimes be the worst at sharing our feelings.”
I shook my head.“Normally, I would agree with you, but you don’t know her.There’s no holding back with her.I’ve never known her not to say what she’s thinking.Trust me, if she felt something, she would have told me.”
He didn’t look convinced.“Just be careful.If she’s even half as clever as you’ve said she is, she’s learned how to hide behind a smile.Don’t let that fool you into thinking you can’t hurt her.”
Sighing, I rubbed at my face.Could Jordan be right?I’d seen Tiffany upset before when she’d broken up with her ex, and even then, she’d handled it gracefully.I’d watched as she’d picked herself up from that and kept going, never letting it interfere with her work.And they’d been dating.I didn’t even know how to name what we’d been doing, beyond a mix of flirting, fighting, and fucking.
No.That was too cheap a way to describe it, and I knew it.In reality, we’d spent almost all of our waking (and some of our sleeping) time together in the last few weeks, and despite whatever reservations I had about crossing that line, I had enjoyed every second of it.I’d legitimately forgotten how much I enjoyed rising to a challenge, and there was no one more capable of challenging me than Tiffany.She was a competitor and cheerleader, all in one.
“I don’t want to hurt her.If I could, I’d tell her that I don’t want her to leave.That I can’t think of anyone else I want to be with.But,” my breath left me in one go, “I don’t trust it.”
“Why don’t you give it a chance?”
“I don’t take chances.I take calculated risks, but not chances.”
“Love shouldn’t be calculated.”
“I don’t know that that’s what this is.”
“Yes, you do.”
“Maybe I’ve done the math and worked out that this isn’t a risk I’m willing to take.”
“Then, you’re more stubborn than I thought.And you’d be missing out on something worthwhile.Which I know for a fact you never like to do.”
“It’s too soon.Piper and I—”
“I don’t know much about Tiffany, but from what I’ve seen, I find it hard to imagine she’s anything like Piper.”
“She’s not.But I’m,” the word sat like ash on my tongue.I forced it out, “afraid.”
“That’s not a bad thing, my friend.The Sam Cooper I knew didn’t let that stop him, either.Look.No one can guarantee forever.We know that better than most.But even if you seem to have forgotten, I know what you’re capable of.And just because you made a mistake with Piper doesn’t mean you’re going to make the same mistake again.It also doesn’t mean that you can pretend you can do this alone.You need people in your corner, Sam, people you can trust.Some might be in it for selfish reasons, but not all of them will be.”
I thought about Tiffany helping me even after she’d quit, giving up her favor with Diego so that I could kiss Pierce’s ass, and so much more.She’d proven time and again that she would help without needing anything in return.
“Piper might have walked away with the last four years of your life, but don’t let her rob you of the rest of it.”
He was right.I’d let my guilt consume me, attaching my fears to Tiffany when I could have easily seen that she was nothing like Piper.She’d never shown any interest in taking over.She’d only ever wanted to workwithme.And I’d fought her almost every step of the way.Keeping my distance, putting a wall up, pretending that she hadn’t already won me over the first time she stalked into my office.
Had she ever shown anything except generosity and loyalty and selflessness?Tiffany gave everything to this bar.To my brother.To the staff.To me.
Because she cared.
My head fell into my hands.“Fuck.I’m an idiot.”
“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you.”
