“Do you really believe that?”
”No, of course not.” And damn, if his kindness didn’t make me want to disappear into him right now. “Although the sex is pretty good.” I hoped a joke would help shift the thick cloud of emotion in the air, although the delivery fell flat.
To his credit, Jackson managed a small smile, but he didn’t let the topic go. He really was too good. “What’s wrong? Come on, talk to me.”
I let out a reluctant laugh, the force of the conflicting emotions within me forcing it from my lungs. “I can’t promise you I’ll be very good at this.”
“And you think I can?” he joked before looking at me very seriously, considering his next words. ”I know you don’t like talking about what happened with your ex, but you know you can talk to me. I want to hear it.”
“I know. I want to tell you. I’m so sick of being afraid of opening up again. I just, I know that sounds ridiculous—”
“Hey,” he stopped me. “It doesn’t. At all. I don’t need you to be anything, or anyone, other than yourself.”
He brought our hands up to his lips, kissing my knuckles. My lip curled into a responding smile before I could stop it. He just had this way of making me feel safe and cared for.
I realized he was waiting, giving me the time to think this over, and wow, had anyone ever really done that for me before? Just … trusted me to work things over in my mind instead of demanding an answer?
Damn, he really was wonderful. And gentle. And thoughtful. Goosebumps rippled across my shoulder, hip, arm, and stomach like a series of fireworks setting across my skin.
I was so head over heels for this man.
And with an imperceptible shift, the sinking in my gut rose, bubbling to the surface as happiness and filling my chest with a joy I didn’t think I could contain. The fears weren’t gone, but I was practiced enough to put them aside for now.
“Ok,” I said, and I couldn’t even begin to school my face into something other than outright joy right now. “I’ll date you, but I have a couple of conditions.”
I was relieved to see his expression lighten. “Conditions? I’m sensing a theme with you and these arrangements.” I poked his ribs. “Ok, ok. What are these conditions?”
“I still want to be able to come over late at night for sex.”
“Oh, is that all?” He laughed.
“And I want to still have time by myself. I don’t suddenly want to spend all our time together. Sometimes I want to go out with Tiff. Or have a night in alone.”
“Anything else?”
“And I’m not ready for the public yet, is that ok?”
“How public are we talking? Because as nice as my apartment is, it would be nice to go out sometime.”
“Of course! I was talking more like events and things. Not that I’m expecting you to take me on the red carpet or anything. Or that that’s even a thing you would want to do,” I was rambling. “I honestly don’t know what dating an actor even entails, but anything with press kind of scares me a little.”
He chuckled, and I buried my face in my hands, trying to shake off my embarrassment, “I’m being ridiculous, aren’t I?”
He reached over, caressing my cheek with his thumb before leaning in, lips meeting mine softly, slowly, just for a moment before he pulled back, smiling. “A little, but it’s adorable.”
My groan was diluted by the smile that overtook my face. I leaned in to kiss his cheek softly. “And yes, I’ll be your date for Sarah’s wedding.”
Did I feel like I was on that part of a rollercoaster where you’re slowly chugging upwards, heart beating rapidly with the knowledge that in just a moment, the world would fall away beneath you? Sure.
But maybe I wanted to be a little crazy. A little reckless. Maybe I wanted to not think about what could go wrong, or even what could go right, but instead, just put on a beautiful dress and go to the wedding of the sister of the guy I was falling for.
“Wait. What’s the dress code? Should I bring a gift? Which hotel is it again?”
Dinner now forgotten, Jackson stood up, hand still in mine, and moved us over to the couch as he spoke. “It’s at the Athletic hotel. I thought we could go up Friday night and get some time together before the wedding. For everything else, I think the invite is on the counter, or I can just give Sarah your number and have her text you everything you want to know.”
He laid down first, pulling me until I was sprawled on top of him, and despite the slightly awkward positioning, it was the most comfortable I’d felt all day.
I let out a deep breath, which became a sigh as he brushed the hair away from my neck to start kissing there. I turned my head to give him more access.
