I found it easier to laugh with her than to deal with the block of ice that had just formed in my stomach.
Later, after Audrey had gone home, I laid in bed wondering how the hell I’d gone and fallen for such an incredible woman when the last thing she wanted was to date me.
18
Audrey
The thing about Jackson’s apartment was that it was obvious that the whole place had come pre-packaged, although it at least looked lived in. Jackson’s room was the only place that looked exclusively like him, furnished in dark charcoals, navy, and a smattering of dirty clothes. The only other uniquely him piece in the place was the cluttered shelving unit that acted as the divider between the living and dining areas. What was probably once very minimally arranged knick-knacks was now a litter of books, scripts, show memorabilia, framed pictures of his family, and some selected fan gifts.
I was enjoying some well-earned post-orgasmic bliss, happily reading with my back propped up against Jace’s headboard as he laid beside me, one hand drawing lazy patterns over my thigh.
“This is a great script,” I said, still reading.
His head turned towards me. “You think so?”
I nodded. “Definitely. I know next to nothing about movies, except for the ones I like, but this is really clever and funny, and not really like any of the millions of movies I normally see coming out.”
“Yeah, it’s kind of perfect.”
“I can see you as Parker.”
His laughter made me inordinately happy, a sort of smug joy that I was able to bring that out of him. Placing a gentle kiss on my hip, he continued his ministrations on my leg. “Thank you. I’m having a hard time convincing anyone else.”
“Really? Why?”
“It’s not exactly what I’m known for right now, and the director straight up told me to my face that he couldn’t picture me in the role. Said he was surprised someone on my current trajectory was even interested.”
“Damn,” I said, and he hummed dryly in agreement. I spared him a look, trying to read his expression. “You sound disappointed.”
“I am.” He rolled onto his back, rubbing a hand over his face. “I don’t know. Now is the right time to capitalize on where the show is at in the ratings. One bad season and scripts like this,” he said, gesturing to it, “definitely won’t be coming my way anymore.”
He punctuated this with a long, resigned sigh.
“And even if I manage to get the role somehow—and that’s a bigif—it’s a risk. Taking on a movie like that will move my career in a totally different direction. If it flops, it could affect the show.”
“And if it doesn’t?”
“Then it doesn’t. But it’s always better to plan for the worst and be surprised.”
“Wow, that’s an obscure way of looking at it. And a rather depressing one.”
“Welcome to showbiz.”
“In Tiff’s words, fuck that.” I placed the script on the side table and maneuvered down the bed to lay beside him, bringing a hand up to cup his cheek. “Forget about all the other stuff, the critics and the producers and the audience—all that junk. It should be about what you want. And if this role doesn’t work out, then you go for the next one. You’re hard-working, dedicated, and passionate. They’d be stupid not to hire you.”
I waited as he thought it over, his eyes searching mine in quiet contemplation. As the seconds passed, I wondered if I’d crossed a line, presumed something too personal for the kind of relationship we had. We hadn’t known each other that long, but it felt like we were becoming friends, and I wouldn’t have thought twice about talking to a friend like that.
He brushed a stray hair behind my ear. “You’re incredible; you know that?”
Before I could respond, his fingers reached into the hair at my neck, pulling me in closer, and I sank into the caress of his lips on mine.
It was lazy and slow, a far cry from the first night we spent together, but just as enjoyable. If I let myself, I could picture this, us, whiling away the weekends curled up in each other.
What would it be like to have that?
To wake up next to him instead of always leaving?
“You’re not so bad yourself,” I said when we eventually separated. When I tucked myself into his side, I caught sight of my bag over his shoulder and remembered what I had brought with me tonight.
