We’d gone for a boys’ weekend in Las Vegas and Jerome brought friends back to party. He promised me a small social gathering, but it grew out of control until I had seven thousand dollars in hotel damages on my credit card after we checked out. We’d never shared a room since that trip.
“I’ll stick to the bed-and-breakfast.”
It was probably better that way. I didn’t want the slew of whoever he hooked up with dirtying my sheets. “Fine, but if you trash a room at my hotel, I really will charge you double.”
Jerome chuckled, not even trying to hold it in. “Yeah, I’m sure things will get crazy in Pelican Bay.”
“The previous owner operated it as a drug ring last year, so who knows.” I purchased the bed-and-breakfast before anyone else in town and paid an arm and a leg for it. My original intent included restoring it to the former beauty it’d once been. That no longer sounded like an important job. Someone else needed to handle the details. Someone else could have it.
I was constantly trying to do things in Pelican Bay to keep the town together and my thank-you cards came as picket signs and megaphones. Accusations of being the devil. I didn’t mind as much if it meant seeing Katy, but now I didn’t want to be the village villain. I wanted to be the guy who won every once in a while.
“What is your problem, dude?” Jerome asked, sensing my attitude. I did sound a bit emo.
Jerome didn’t need to hear the juicy details because he’d use it as more reason to tell me he told me so. “Katy’s grandmother’s funeral happened yesterday. She became quite vocal about how her entire family hates me.”
“I’m sorry, man.” He took a deep breath even I heard through our line. “Does this mean you’re finally over her?”
“Yeah, I guess.” I wasn’t sure I’d ever get over Katy, but I refused to keep on the way we’d been going for years.
I needed to find my way in life. What would distinguish me from the other Kensingtons? We were a family of high achievers, and everyone expected me to make my mark in the world. I always assumed it would be for my efforts in Pelican Bay, but honestly most of that was only because Katy lived here. Now I’d find something else. Trillionaire by forty sounded reasonable.
“Maybe I’ll let you take over Pelican Bay and I will move to New York,” I said. It would be perfect. We’d swap positions. One Kensington for another. Most people in town wouldn’t even notice.
Jerome’s response came immediately. “Hell no. We are finally going to be close again. You can’t leave now.”
But I couldn’t stay either. “We’ll see. I can’t stay here.” If I moved to Clearwater, would that be far enough away? “I need to go, but I will see you tomorrow. Right?”
“For the fifth time, yes.” Jerome hung up without saying goodbye and I tossed my cell phone on the corner of my desk.
I rarely drank, but it felt like a drinking evening. The time to drown my sorrows away with an excellent whiskey. I would give myself one more evening to work through getting over Katy, but when Monday morning came, everything returned to business. I’d spent so much time pining over her, I didn’t have enough time to spend the same amount getting over her.
The problem hit as I debated the various liquor bottles in my kitchen and none of them seemed appealing. Getting drunk wouldn’t help me forget Katy. I stared out my kitchen window watching the ocean waves crash against the shore from another angle.
Where did I go wrong? Were Katy and I doomed from the start? Did she see it all along, but I’d been too blinded by hope?
Either way it didn’t matter now. Not even the best doctor in Maine could salvage the thing we never had between us. Katy didn’t harbor the same feelings for me that I carried around for her. If I continued to expect her to change, I’d stay the dumb one. I’d quit wondering and wishing for a different future because she wouldn’t change her opinions of me. If nothing I tried had worked yet, what was the point of continuing? Katy made me stupid.
Reality hit hard. I needed to move on.
I spent a lifetime waiting for Katy. For what? I gave her my heart, but I retained my looks, money, and connections. I’d find someone who didn’t question me at every turn. Someone who listened when I spoke and actually did what I said—a compliant wife.
The part that fucking sucked about my fresh path revolved around wasted time. That and the fact I enjoyed that Katy didn’t do what I told her. She never listened to anyone, but when something happened, she always ran into my arms. She didn’t love me for money, status, or anything being associated with me granted her in life. Katy didn’t love me. I used to rationalize my behavior by telling myself the deep recesses of her mind Katy loved me. Now I couldn’t even pretend that was true. Not after the funeral and public humiliation.
Getting over Katy would be a near impossible task, but if I wanted to salvage anything of my life, it had to happen. Why didn’t Katy for once in her entire life do the logical thing? Why couldn’t she be the girl who ran to my house and told me she loved me too?
But wishing for something that would never happen made me foolish. And the Kensington family did not breed fools. The time had finally come for me to relocate to… somewhere. I’d figure it out eventually. Until then I’d do what I always did when I had a tough business decision to make, take a long stroll along the coast.
I walked through the kitchen and stopped by the closet to grab a light coat. This part of Maine grew chilly in the evenings this late in the year. As I reached the front door, someone knocked, and I stopped with my hand on the knob.
21
Katy
He muffled my name from the other side of his door. You’d think having a mansion meant he’d have better sound insulation—thicker wood or something. Pierce left me standing outside for almost a minute before he slowly opened the door, and I saw my first glimpse of his face in days.
“What?” he sounded exhausted and hurt with his words full of pain. I put the pain there—not only at Nanna’s funeral but for the last few years. Forever.
My mouth fell open, but no words came out. I didn’t take time to come up with what I wanted to say before I made the short walk to his place. I’d called his number to complain about the landscape – as was our weekly fashion – but he didn’t answer. Pierce’s number redirected to his rental company customer service. He cut me off.
