And then maybe win him back. It depends on his response. I’ve been through tons of shit the last few weeks. I need someone who can handle me and won’t chicken out.
Aspen and Finn checked me out of the hospital and then took me back to my apartment making me promise I wouldn’t leave when I asked to be alone. My mother even listened when I told her it was a great time to visit my brother in Washington. He’ll love it.
Besides my shattered heart, I’m medically fine. There’s no reason for people to be stuck hovering around me. Hurt or not, I’ve still peopled too much these last few days, so it wasn’t hard to press that I needed quiet time. I promised to head right into bed and sleep for a few more days.
But I’ve broken many promises lately. And kept secrets. I am not the same girl I was last year. And even though I’m still weak from the last two days in the hospital, there’s no way I plan to let Hudson get on a plane before I get to tell him what needs to be said.
Things along the lines of he’s stupid. And if he would shut up every once in a while and let people make their own decisions for themselves, he’d be a happy man. At least if he’d let me make him happy. But there isn’t much time. Taped to my refrigerator on the list of ten rules for living in my apartment was a note saying his plane left at 6 p.m. and that he was sorry he didn’t have time to say goodbye. Sorry… like sorry ever cut it.
That is not how you leave someone you practically lived with for a month. I mean he did live with me! I deserve better than that. Whatever we had in our relationship, I deserve better than a note on the fridge.
I’m not an evil bitch face. I understand Hudson obviously feels he failed me by letting me get kidnapped. I’m sure it goes back to his sister — yes, I made the connection — but it’s still a bunch of bullshit. He decided what I wanted for me. Like I didn’t know how I felt.
I just hope I’m not too late. I can’t go back to the actual gates, so I have to catch Hudson before he checks in. And regardless of what you see in the movies it doesn’t matter how much you offer to pay someone; most Uber drivers won’t go much over the speed limit. Even when you explain it’s for love.
My luck is intact as most of the gates are empty. The winding metal aisles that keep people in line hold only one or two travelers. I start at one and make my way to the next. I’m three fourths of the way done and starting to give up hope when I find Hudson in line. Peeking behind one of the large poles holding up the ceiling, I spot the signature leather jacket Hudson wrapped around my dining room chairs for the last few weeks. He has the same small bag he showed up with and stands in the ticket line behind three other people waiting to check in.
Even though there’s enough time for me to slowly walk my way to him and stop him before he even reaches the check-in counter, in my excitement of finding him I stop, cup my hand over my mouth and yell his name.
Everyone in the area stops and stares. Someone drops their luggage and the agent behind the counter panics, picking up a phone. Oops.
Not my best decision. I put a hand up and wave. To show them I don’t have a gun or anything. “Never mind. Found my friend,” I say quieter but loudly enough hopefully people hear and then laugh nervously. Great, I’ll probably get arrested.
I may have gotten myself unwanted attention, but I got the attention of the man I needed. Hudson stands at the end of the line with his hands on his hips and an expression on his face that clearly asks what the fuck are you doing? His eyes are wide and his lips press together to form a straight line. He is not a happy man.
I casually stroll in his direction like we have all the time in the world and I’m not the crazy lady who yelled out in the airport. But he uses his ridiculously long legs to eat away at the distance between us.
“What are you doing?” he asks when he is less than a few feet away.
I wait to be a bit closer. Not everyone in the airport needs to hear this. “You’re stupid.”
He tilts his head in disbelief. “You walk into an airport terminal and start yelling and I’m the stupid one?”
“Yes! What are you doing at the airport?”
“What areyoudoing at the airport?” he questions and now I wholly understand why Marissa is always threatening Ryland with something. Men are difficult.
Maybe if I could slap him with a pool noodle, I could beat sense into him. “I’m here for you, duh.”
He rubs his fingers through his hair, twisting his head around. “I know I should have stayed to say goodbye, but…”
“You shouldn’t say goodbye.” I cut him off and then reach out and thump his chest. It doesn’t do any damage. Hudson probably doesn’t even notice, but it makes me feel better. “If you shut up for a minute and let me talk, I would tell you I don’t want you to leave.”
“Amanda, you say that, but I let you get hurt. I saw your face in the warehouse. How scared you were. The way you looked at me. It will haunt me forever.”
“Of course I was scared. I’d been kidnapped.” The word kidnapped comes out a little louder than I planned and the person who’d stood behind Hudson in line openly stares in our direction. “That doesn’t mean I blame you.”
“You don’t blame me,” he says tapping himself on his chest. “I blame me. I’m constantly letting people down.”
How is it possible to be angry at this man, yet my heart breaks for him at the same time? I push on his shoulder making sure to stay away from his hurt side. “Hudson, people get hurt in life. It’s not your fault. I don’t blame you and I’m not your sister. We all do the best we can with what we have.”
His face pinches at the mention of his sister in a look that hurts my chest. I guess my heart is still in there. “I can’t sit around and watch you get hurt anymore.”
“So, your answer is to leave. I get hurt when you’re not here? You’re supposed to be the smart one, Hudson.”
He opens his mouth in a laugh but no sound comes out. “What does this mean?”
“It means stay in San Francisco and take the job with Finn. I know it’s asking you to give up a lot in Maine, but I’d like to give us a chance. Don’t give up on this before we even start.”
