He smiles. “Traded it in for this model.” He taps the white car on the trunk. “It’s going to take a bit to get used to.”
I nod but I’m never going get used to seeing Nate riding in the baby car. It’s just not right. He’s not a car person.
“Did you need help with something?” I ask, trying to get this meeting over with quicker than the few hours he told Winnie I’d need a babysitter. “I don’t want to keep Winnie babysitting too long.” Plus seeing him and being close is painful. He’s everything I could have had standing right in front of me, but yet he’s not mine and I can’t touch him. And it’s all my fault.
My self-loathing side kicks in and I want to ask him a million questions. Has he found someone new already? Does he miss me like I miss the hell out of him? Does he realize I’m sorry? Does he not care?
Nate shakes his head. “You know Winnie will watch Emma all day.”
“Yes,” I say putting a hand on my hip and trying to ward off his smile. “But I don’t want to make her.”
“Let’s take a walk,” he says, turning to the area behind him and walking onto the sidewalk.
I follow. “A walk? You want to walk?” Now?
“That’s what I said.” His steps are big but not because he walks quickly. Rather his long legs eat up space faster than my short ones do.
We hit the end of the sidewalk and Nate turns. “How are things going with Emma?”
“Fine…” I say, drawing the word out, but this time in a completely different way. I have no idea what we’re doing and I don’t like not knowing things.
Nate talks about how Spencer brought his dog into the office yesterday and she chewed up one of the office chairs. I wasn’t that impressed, considering I’ve heard stories of other things Spencer’s dog, Frankie, has eaten. But then he mentioned the chair was metal and I gained a newfound respect.
“Here we are,” Nate says, stopping in front of the house.
It’s a house I remember well, but I hadn’t realized we were headed in that direction.
“You brought me here?” So, it’s going to be a painful meeting then because standing right in before us is the beacon of everything I want in my life. Everything I want but can’t have. Nate has led me right to the adorable little yellow house I tried to buy — the one I wanted, but someone else purchased right out from under me.
It’s like I’m being featured on one of those “this is your life” shows, but it’s full of all the wonderful things I’ve lost out on.
I want to be angry, yell even, but I don’t have it in me. I’m too tired. Life has kicked me one too many times. Nate stands to the side, smiling at the house like an evil villain who gets pleasure out of seeing the despair of his enemy.
“You get this is the house I tried to buy. Right?” I ask without any humor. Is he so clueless?
He nods. “We should go see if there’s anyone inside,” he says, and the next thing I notice he’s standing on top of the porch with his hands on the door opening it.
“Nate!” I yell, walking after him. “Someone else bought this house.” I can’t believe he’s walking in without knocking. We’ll get arrested on trespassing charges. Damn, I really know how to pick the men I fall in love with. That’s for sure.
He spins, rounding on me after he passes through the front door. “Yeah, me.”
16
Ishake my head, confused. “You what?”
“I bought this house. For me… Well, for you,” he says, watching my facial expressions when he drops the news.
I’m slow to pick it up. “You bought a house?”
“For you.”
“A house?” This house?
“Well for us, but then you dumped me so…”
“Wait, you boughtthishouse?”
Nate nods, but slowly, his enthusiasm lost.
