Too bad I didn’t listen to it when I had the chance. I have more feelings for Nate than I ever did for Barry, even if they are all mixed up right now.
“Hey, Josie, I got pepperoni. You’re okay with that. Right?” Nate asks, looking at the other two girls. “Um, I’m not sure if I bought enough for everyone, though. If you give me a minute, I can go back.”
Tabitha laughs, setting the pizza on my round kitchen table. “Nope, Winnie and I are busy. You two enjoy your dinner. Come on, Winnie,” Tabitha says winking at her friend.
She doesn’t waste any time and jumps from the couch like he poked her with an ironing prod. “Right, gotta go.” She follows Tabitha out the door but turns back right before she leaves. “We’ll stop in and see you again soon, Josie.”
I wave. “Have a good evening,” I yell, as Nate closes it behind their two retreating backs.
They sure left fast. The delicious aroma of cheese clouds my senses and I can’t worry about them any longer.
“Where is Emma?” Nate asks, his eyes searching the living room. “It’s quiet. Should I be worried?”
He is learning. I shake my head no. “She’s taking a nap, but we should wake her up soon since it’s after four. Otherwise she’ll be up all night.”
“Let me grab plates first and then I’ll get her.” The way Nate says everything makes it sound so simple. Like he’s been here every day of our lives. Two people parenting together. I don’t know what to make of it. Barry never even helped parent this way. He was more of a “tell me what I should do and then watch me do it” parent. When he was around, that is, which wasn’t often.
“Come and sit at the table,” Nate says, standing in the open space between the two rooms eyeing his pizza.
Right. Time to sit at the table with Nate, the man I’ve learned so much about while he’s been absent for the afternoon. Winnie and Tabitha were full of information on my current home nurse — all of it good. Everything made my tummy happy dance at the thought of spending more time with him. It was an afternoon of feelings I’m not ready to have about anyone. Certainly not the man who hit me with his truck and is only here so I don’t press charges against him.
“What did you do today?” I ask as my butt hits the bottom of the chair and I drop a crutch.
He shrugs with his nose crinkling up to match the corners of his eyes. “This and that.”
I wish I could work out my feelings for Nate. Do I hate him for hitting me with his truck? Do I think he’s cute? Am I physically attracted to him?
I’m aware of the answer to the last two. They are yes, but I haven’t worked out how I feel about what he’s done to my life. It was already complicated, but he’s added an extra layer by giving me an injury all because of his negligence. I should make sure he pays for everything just like the girls said.
Nate passes me one of the plain white plates I purchased before moving into the apartment — they were the cheapest ones at the thrift store — with two pieces of pepperoni pizza on top. I’m too lost in my thoughts to eat and instead pick at the crust, ripping off large chunks of the crispy bread.
“Is everything okay? Do you not like pepperoni?”
I rip off a piece of pepperoni hanging from the edge of one of my slices and pop it in my mouth. “It’s fine.”
“What is it then?”
“Nothing.”
Nate narrows his eyes in my direction and taps a finger on the table. A few seconds pass before he opens his mouth again. “I hate the word nothing for an answer. There’s obviously something wrong. Did you skip a pain pill?”
Well, then. His words piss me off faster than a bee sting hurts. Like the only reason something could be wrong with me is I’m cranky from being in pain. But he doesn’t realize I’m still bruised and sore. And come to think of it, I did miss the pain pill, but that isnotwhy I’m upset.
“I don’t need a pain pill, Nathan.” For whatever reason, using his full name makes it better. “I spent all afternoon wondering if you would come back and then you come in here carrying a pizza acting like everything is fine. Everything is not fine.”
The left side corner of his lips tweaks up a smidge as he stares at his own pizza. By the time he lifts his head to answer his face is back into a calm unveiling mask. “I’m not leaving you, Josie. At this point you’ll have to pry me out of here.”
He says that now, but I’ve heard those words in the past. My ex once promised he never had eyes for anyone else.
I manage a few bites of pizza and in the process shred the pleated white paper napkin Nate brought in with the plates.
“Do you plan to tell me why everything is not fine or do you want to murder another napkin first?” he asks.
I ball the pieces up and shove them into my lap, my face becoming red. Why does he notice everything?
“Are you being arrested for hitting me?” I rush the question out as quickly as possible. His golden eyes glow in the faint light from the cheap chandelier over the table.
Nate blanches, leaning back in his chair. “Do you want me to be?”
