CHAPTER FIVE
Tracking down Cyrus is easy. There’s only so many places to go. When he wasn’t in the main lobby of the lodge, I knew he had to be back at athlete housing. His room is the first place I looked.
“Cyrus,” I use the end of my closed fist to hammer on his door. “Let me in.”
Nothing happens for a few seconds, but as I’m about to start another pounding regimen, the door opens. Onlya crack, but it’s enough to get my foot in the space.
Unfortunately for both of us, he doesn’t open the door the rest of the way. Normally I’d throw my weight into it and knock him on his ass. But I can’t. At least not until he finishes his race. Then all bets are off.
“Cyrus! Let me in.” If he thinks I won’t make a scene he’s dead wrong.
With an audible sigh he steps back. The loss of restrictionsends me barreling into the room tripping over my own feet. I stop inches from tumbling onto the bed.
“Look, I’m stressed out.” He closes the door and stays on the other half of the room. “You know I love you like a best friend. And nothing more. I was just trying to be helpful.”
“That’s it?” I cross my arms and sit on the edge of his bed. His roommate’s bed is ruffled, the covers thrown backand the pillow tossed to the edges, but he’s not here currently.
“Yes, that’s it. Now that I’ve cleared that up, can we move on?”
I cross my arms tighter. “No.”
The truth is, I’d love to pretend we both think he was joking. To go back to the way things were ten minutes ago. Except when I think about a future of pretending, my stomach feels like I’m seconds away from vomiting on his tile floor.
I can’t.
I’ve spent years secretly being in love with Cyrus and thinking he didn’t notice me in the same fashion. Now, that there may be a glint of hope, even a small sliver he feels the same, I have to push this. Let’s be honest, even if I do throw up in front of him, it wouldn’t be the first time it’s happened. When you’re learning to snowboard and pushing yourself to the extreme it happensto the best of us after intense workouts.
“No?”
“No.” My head shakes in case he stopped listening. “I think you’re lying.”
Cyrus throws his hands in the air. “I told you I lied.”
“No! You lied right now, not before.”
His eyes narrow. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. You don’t make any sense.”
“You love me.”
“I told you I did. You’re my best friend.”
“You love me more than a bestfriend.”
Cyrus drops to the bed beside me, but as far away as possible. “So what if I do?” He sighs. “The truth is the same. We’re best friends. I wouldn’t jeopardize our friendship for a romp in the hay.”
“Romp in the hay? Who says that anymore?”
His only reply is a quick shrug as he stares down, memorizing the nonexistent pattern on his comforter.
Cyrus is my best friend. In the entire world.It’s true if we dated and things didn’t work out I don’t think we could ever go back. But isn’t it worth it to try? I can’t let him give up so easily without even trying.
Which future is worse — one where I love him from afar but am forced to hide it or the other where we have a possibility of something amazing? When given the chance, I always go with the possibility of amazing. I wouldn’t havegotten nearly as far if I didn’t. Cyrus too.
“Oh a freebie!” I yell the phrase slightly louder than I expected from the way Cyrus’ face pinches together and he leans back. “Don’t you see? It’s exactly what we need.”
I’m a genius. Cyrus and I are already super compatible when it comes to personalities. We’ve been putting up with our own little quirks and foibles for years. At this point in ourrelationship, I don’t think there’s anything he could do to make me stop loving him. At least not something where I wouldn’t be willing to put the work in to make our relationship succeed. And from Cyrus’ dedication on the mountain, he’s the same.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he says looking skeptical.
