I shake my head frustrated at how he completely ignores the fact I’m irritated with him. Like we can forget this whole situation and it will go away. “You and Drew, huh?”
“Yeah, we’re playing DR tonight.”
I knew it!“Why are you trying so hard, Grant? It’s never going to work.” I whisper the question so the kids won’t hear over the basketballs.
“Because like I told you, Clare, you’re worth the effort.”
“We’re past that now, Grant. You’ve hurt me. I work so hard for the kids here and you came in and plowed right through everything I’ve worked so hard for.”
There’s such a large part of me that wants to forgive Grant. I yearn for it. Come to an understanding so I could explain away his actions…but I can’t. Travis is still here, but what about the first day he isn’t? I’ll know his absence is a direct effect of Grant’s decisions.
“I’m working on a fix.”
“You can’t fix the way you’ve affected their lives by cooking me lasagna or buying Chinese, Grant. Life doesn’t work that way.”
“Believe it or not, Clare, I’m aware of that. I’m working on other ways to fix the problem.”
“I’m sorry, but this problem isn’t fixable.”
“So you plan to hold it against me for the rest of your life?”
I sigh and look back to my office wanting to beat a hasty retreat. “No, probably not. Even if I forgive you now, in a few months when people like Travis’ family can’t afford to pay their rent or put food on the table I’ll be reminded of where your priorities lie all over again. How can I go to sleep at night knowing I’m dating the guy who did it?”
Grant’s face falls and for the first time I feel like maybe he understands where I’m coming from.
“I told you I’m fixing it, Clare.”
“And I told you it’s unfixable, Grant.” The argument is old and I’m tired of it, so with a final sigh I turn back and walk to my office. My feet are sluggish compared to those that brought me out here. I must be crazy because I keep searching out Grant expecting the results to be different, but they never are.
