CHAPTER TWELVE
I spot him as I walk out the main lobby door on my way to work, but I keep to my plan. My head held high, I reach the rear bumper of the black Escalade before he can stop me.
“Aspen! I know you saw me.”
Jake is older than I am and larger, but he’s fit. I calculate my ability to outrun him and decide my odds aren’t good. I have on tennis shoes, but I’ve never been much into distance running. Plus I have a gut feeling the man would chase me all the way to work if I tried to make a dash for it.
I turn and a black-suit-clad Jake is two feet from me. The back door to the SUV is left open behind him. It’s not Jake’s fault Finn is an asshole. I don’t want to be mean to him, but I’m not getting in the car. No way, no how.
“Sorry, Jake. I am going to walk today. I’m sure Finn will understand. I wouldn’t want him to be around someone like me. I might talk him into making reckless decisions." I hate myself a little for the emotion that seeps through my words. I sound so catty. It’s not normal, but I have to guard myself somehow.
Jake has the decency to look a bit embarrassed. “Finn will be upset if he knows I let you walk today. He wanted to make sure you had a ride to work.”
Well at least Jake’s aware Finn and I broke up. I hope he was spared the more humiliating details. Worst of all now, Iamirritated at Jake. I’m not exactly sure why, but he's here in Finn’s place and it’s enough right now. Who the hell is he to “make sure I get a ride to work?" He dumps me then feels bad so he offers up the services of his personal man servant? I don’t think so. Not going to happen.
“Sorry, Jake. I’m not up for it today.” I should end it there, but I can’t. The pissed off part of my brain won’t allow it. “Please tell Finn he can shove his ride up his ass. I’m not his charity case." I channel Marissa with my bitchy response. She would be proud. I don’t wait for an answer from Jake, but rather turn in the direction I need and start my walk at a brisk pace in case he does think of following me.
*
I had a feeling I’d see Jake again and I was right. The black Escalade waits for me at the curb at the end of my work day. I can’t decide if I was wishful because it meant maybe Finn cared or if I wanted the opportunity for my anger to boil over some more. I thought of great retorts to this morning’s confrontation all day. I realize I can’t ignore Jake this time. It didn’t work this morning and I’m even more doubtful it will work this afternoon.
All day at work I jumped back and forth between emotions. My anger simmered continuously, but there were a few moments when I questioned myself. Finn tried to make sure I had a ride to work, it had to mean he still cared, at least a little. Right? Should I feel angry, sad, or thankful? I couldn’t decide.
Around lunch and after a few texts from Marissa, I settled on righteous indignation. How dare he try and be nice to me. Is this his meagre attempt to make himself feel less guilty? He can rot in guilt for all I care. I hope it eats at him.
“Aspen.” Jake’s face is weary. He’s accepted his eventual loss, but I’m sure he’ll put up a fight if I try to refuse another ride.
Battle station ready, I stop in front of him and try to see through the tinted back window. “Is Finn in there?”
“No. He… he didn’t make it into work today. It would make him feel better if I could tell him I was able to get you home," he replies as he opens the back door, obviously thinking he’s already won.
I almost ask if Finn is sick but remind myself I don’t care if he is. In fact I hope Finn’s contracted Ebola. Okay, maybe not that bad, but a strong case of the flu wouldn’t kill him. I don’t want to accept the ride, but at this point it will get me home faster. And that means I get to yell at Finn sooner. It’s a happy thought and the one that prompts me to slide in the backseat. I don’t miss Jake’s attempt to suppress a smile as he closes the door. He wouldn’t be so happy if he knew what’s in store for Finn.
Jake pulls the car into traffic and I have to ask about Finn. “Where is good ol’ Finn today that he didn’t need a ride?"
I promise myself I only care so I know when to expect him home, but a small part of me is worried as well. Just a little bit, not too much. Although, maybe I should pick up soup on the way. What! What am I thinking? You don’t pick up soup for the man who dumped you. Finn can get his own soup. Hot tongue-burning soup that won’t taste good.
Jake waits for me to look up before he answers. “I don’t believe he visited the offices.”
I nod my acknowledgment of his answer and we spend the rest of the ride in silence. Jake drives slowly, which gives me plenty of time to strategize exactly how I plan to tell Finn what I think of him. Not much has changed since yesterday, but it would make me feel better to tell him again.
I pound on Finn’s door this time. I want to make sure he’s well aware what awaits him on this side. I wish I had some theme music to play in the background. A beat to get my point across. Something loud and angry. Maybe some Nine Inch Nails or Halestorm.
His door opens and I’m face to face with the least put together Finn I’ve ever seen. Considering his normal attire is jeans and a long sleeve shirt, it’s concerning. Today he's dressed in a pair of long San Francisco 49ers pajama pants and a white short sleeve t-shirt. I’m not sure if this is his idea of lounging around or he really hasn’t gotten dressed today. His eyes are no longer bright green, but dull and lifeless. The dark circles under his eyes from yesterday have grown larger.
Every pissed off thought I wanted to throw at him falls from my head as my eyes stretch over his appearance. Finn looks like shit. Even his hair, normally done in a just got out of bed way, looks worse for the wear. I may have wished for him to be sick, but I never suspected he was.
“Why didn’t you go to work today?” I have no idea why I ask. It isn’t close to any of the words I wanted to use earlier. Seeing him so downtrodden has thrown me for a loop.
Finn’s head drops. “I figured I could get some work done at home. I didn’t want to see the guys today. I’m glad you took the ride from Jake. He’ll be available for you every day.”
The mention of Jake stirs my few remaining remnants of anger. “I don’t want a ride, Finn. Rides to work aren’t what you do with an ex."
