A male like me? I didn’t get to have a female like her.
She was untouchable. A legacy. Fire and fury and royalty wrapped in a delicious attitude that burned at my too-tough skin. She could command gods and monsters and still slept like a kitten on silk sheets.
And me? I was just her shadow. The one to watch and protect. The forever silent shield at her side.
I was never supposed to want her, but I did. In the depths of my soul, I sang her name, craving a connection I had no businesscraving. She was made for crowns and constellations, while I was made to watch from below.
And now, I’d lost the only valuable thing I ever really had—her trust.
Without it, I was nothing but a ghost bleeding out on the floor, hoping she’d glance down long enough to notice me fading away.
She went back to the club, and I followed her, like always. Only this time, she didn’t glance over her shoulder or wait for me to catch up. No teasing smile. No eye contact. Just cold, purposeful strides. Doors slammed in my face, and when someone asked her a question that involved me, she smiled sweetly, like she hadn’t heard a damn thing. Like I was invisible. A stranger in her shadow.
I told myself she needed space. Told myself to be professional, keep it together. So, I moved through my routine, checking in with the surveillance room and giving floor orders to the security teams, but none of it anchored me. None of it kept the cold depths of despair from spreading inside, curling around my chest, and sinking into my bones. It was like I was walking through snow, barefoot, naked, with no end in sight.
Then came the voice that snapped something inside me.
“What the fuck did you do now, you gorilla?!”
My teeth clenched, and my magic spread throughout my whole body, hardening my skin. I stood frozen for a heartbeat, body locked tight as stone. Normally, I could ignore the gorilla shit since everyone joked about my size, assuming I was just a dumb wall of muscle, but today? Today, I was hanging on by a thread.
I turned slowly, already bracing for it, and there he was—Van in all his golden glory. Every damn hair in place, his smug face lit up like the lights were staged just for him. Blond streaks glinting, pretty, polished, he was the kind of man who belonged in her world. The kind of man who didn’t flinch around power because he wore it just as easily.
Aniyah always looked so natural beside him, like they were carved from the same flawless mold. He could talk to her without fumbling, touch her without guilt, and get under her skin without even trying. He got to see her,reallysee her, while I stayed on the outside looking in, aching and unseen.
And now he was glaring at me like I was the villain in her story.Well, fuck that. I don’t have to take shit from him.
“I was trying to protect her, and I made a mistake.” My voice came out rougher than I wanted. “She’s upset.” It was all I could give. I couldn’t bear him knowing more than that, knowing how deeply I’d fucked up.
He tilted his chin at me like I was something he’d scraped off his boot. “If she’s this pissed, you didn’t just make a mistake. Youbetrayedher. You think you’re irreplaceable just because Nova handpicked you?”
Irreplaceable? That thought never crossed my mind. I was an ugly troll in a pretty magical fairy world. Of course I was replaceable.
I’d always known what I was, a wall, a weapon, a shield for beings more important than me, but coming from him? It didn’t sound like a fact. It sounded like a condemnation. Like I had no business being near her.
I said nothing and took the hit like I’d been trained to, trying to let it slide off my back so I could get back to work.
He kept going, stepping closer to jab a finger into my chest. “You’re supposed to be her shield. Her last line of defense. That’s your whole purpose. So, what’s the point of all this bulk,” he motioned to my whole body, “if you can’t do your damn job, troll?”
Troll.
That word echoed like a hammer in my skull, dragging up a thousand memories I’d buried in the dirt. Memories from a life before this one. A boy covered in scars, being bought and sold, listening to the insults higher beings threw in his face.
What a pathetic creature. Troll. Not worthy enough to look at, let alone consider.
He’s not fit for the palace. Not pleasing enough to the eye.
Keep that thing out of my sight. If I see it, I will whip him until I feel better.
Only good for guarding those royals we shun. Give him to Mia.
My breathing stuttered. My vision blurred. The room tipped sideways. The monster inside me, my oldest, truest self, rose up in my chest like a scream I couldn’t swallow.
“I’m not worthless!” I roared, shoving someone aside. My fists flew before I could stop them. One crash, then another. When I blinked, there was a hole in the wall. My hand throbbed, and splinters stuck out of my skin since I’d clipped a stud wall.
“Oh, shit.” I didn't know what else to say.
Van stood there, arms crossed, smirking like I was just proving his point. I opened my mouth to apologize, then stopped short. Rubbing a hand over my face, I tried to ground myself, tried to shove all that broken, bleeding shame back down.
