His arms curled around me, not like he was holding me, but more like he wanted me to know he was here, listening. “It could be something like my mom's cooking isn't salty enough, she didn't clean the dishes, or she was spending all his money on me. He would find the littlest thing to be mad about and hurt her.”
Hearing her sobs in the back of my head, I clutched to his chest. He kissed my head again softly, and the cries receded. “If she passed out too early or was too hurt to continue, he would come find me. At first, he would just throw me around a bit. I would bang into walls or doors. When that wasn't enough, he would yank me around by the hair, backhand me until I bled, or hold me up by the throat just to see my feet kick around. His favorite game was throwing things at me and seeing how fast I could dodge it. I got good at that part quickly.”
I stopped talking when I felt a violent shaking underneath me and pushed myself up to see Cezar fisting the sheets, his whole body taut and vibrating violently. A crimson red line went down his mouth, and I panicked. “Oh my god, Cezar, what is going on? Are you having a seizure? Did you bite your tongue?”
Reaching out to his face to see if he did bite his tongue, his hand snatched at my wrists, looking up at me with a fiery rage that told me he would burn everything he touched if I let him out of this room. "Where is he?"
More blood spilled from his mouth, and I was starting to get worried that he hurt himself. "I killed him. I pushed him down the stairs, and his neck broke. He's gone."
Like his body was under a spell and my words were the key, his body stopped shaking, his hands let go of the bed, and he sat up, his hands clutching my face. "He got off too easily. I wish we could call him back from the dead so that I can exact the appropriate pound of flesh and offer it to you as payment for his deeds. Then keep him alive so that I could make sure he understood whose woman he was fucking with. I want to shatter all of his bones, force him to eat-"
I couldn't help it. I laughed. I laughed so hard my stomach hurt.
It was not the appropriate response to a psycho killer telling you exactly how he wanted to torture and kill another person; I know that, but all I could think about was my mom. After that incident, she turned into another person. She was strong and sure of herself. She mentioned that she had been using him for protection from the evil eye, but that all she needed was her ancestor’s spirit, and she began making protection spells every morning for the rest of my life.
If she heard what Cezar said, she would eye him up and down before nodding in agreement.
"Thank you." I wiped away the tear from the side of my face. "I needed that."
His eyes went to my lips and back to my eyes like he desperately wanted to kiss me but didn't think it was the right time, and then it clicked. He has been so hesitant because he was trying to be respectful and understanding. Knowing that I went through an ordeal, and didn't want to push anything.
This time, I grabbed his face and smashed my lips onto his. His whole body froze like he didn't know what to do, but I did. I wanted to thank him and tell him he was too beautiful for words. I wanted to erase what happened in Nicu's room and replace it with a memory of me feeling fantastic. I wanted my mind so blissed-out that when I lay down to sleep, I didn't need the drugged water because I was that spent. If I was going to die tomorrow or twenty years from now, I didn't want to wallow about the past. I wanted to feel strong and cherished right now.
Moving my legs so I was sitting on top of him, the copper taste on his lips oddly didn't bother me. It added to the forbiddingness of the situation. I was going to jump the bones of my psycho kidnapper. That should be the title of a book or something.
I knew it was wrong on many levels, but I can analyze it tomorrow or never. Who knew how long Nicu was going to keep me around? My mom was dead, and I was a killer. One is the only thing tying me to this world, and the other condemning me. At this point, it was like throwing a coin into the universe and being okay with however it shook out.
He grabbed my shoulders and pulled me back. A small whine came from my lips before I pouted. His finger dug into my shoulders, the pain making the situation all the more real, intensifying the burning in my body.
"Kazia." Oh shit, he just used my name. I guess he's serious. "I don't…" he looked down at where our bodies met and gulped. Even with clothes on, you could see his growing length desperately poking out from his pants. "I can't stop again if we go any further."
Shoving his hands off my shoulders, he nodded, sighing in resignation. I tore his shirt off my body, grabbed his chin, and raised his head to look at me. "Who said I didn't want to go further?"
Desire and need flooded his emerald eyes, his hands shaking as they reverently touched my bare waist. "A-are you s-sure?"
Grabbing one of his hands, I shoved it in my borrowed sweets, pushing two of his fingers to my core, taking them out just to place them at my clit, rubbing them around slowly as I moaned. "Yes. I want to feel all of you this time." Throwing my head back so his face was right in my chest, I said, "I want to feel something other than fear, pain, or the need to survive." He licked at my nipple, and a shiver ran down my spine.
He kept up the pace with his fingers, switching from pushing them inside me to rubbing that wetness around my clit. His other hand snaked around and fisted my hair, both holding me back and keeping me in place as his mouth explored my breast.
As soon as his tongue flicked at my nipple, I let out a short, soft moan. I think he liked that because he went to the other one and gave it the same treatment until he took my breast in his hot mouth and bit down on my nipple. The pain stimulation shot straight to my pussy, and I clenched around his fingers, gasping for more.
"Is that what you like, my Roma? You like a little pain with your pleasure?"
"I guess so," I gasped. I never really experimented like that, but who the fuck cares when you might die because of some grouchy man with a gun.
This time, he pulled on my hair, yanking on the roots, and I cried out. My whole body felt like a live wire, and he was plucking at its string and testing out where the electricity gathered.
"I think you do," his tone was dark and sinful as his lips left a feather-like touch down my chest. He let go of my hair and pushed me back to sitting straight. "It's not time to explore that just yet. I want to see what you like. I want to know everything about how you like your pleasure. I want you in control." He removed his hands from my body, and he sat still, waiting for me to make a move.
Lifting an eyebrow at him, I didn't know if this was a power play or if this was going back to him wanting me only to do what I was comfortable with, but I wanted this, so I didn't mind.
Resting my hands on his chest, I let my fingers carve their way down his chest. "Harder," he panted, and I raked my nails down instead. His head fell back; breathlessly, he cried, "Yes. Fuck." I guess I wasn't the only one that liked a little pain.
Flicking my fingers along the button of his pants, unzipping him like a present, I was excited to see. His cock sprang out, already so hard that as soon as my hand circled that silky head, pre-cum came out. Taking my thumb, I spread his pre-cum along the head of his cock. "Don't worry, I have the implant. I can't get pregnant." I felt like I was doing my due diligence in letting him know.
His fingers gripped my chin forcefully, his face just an inch away from mine. "I wasn't worried. We are meant to be, and when it's time, I will fill you up and have a family." He bent his head forward, his lips brushing against mine as he breathed, "But I have no problem practicing until then…over and over and over again."
A harsh exhale escaped from me, reminding me that I most definitely didn't want to get pregnant, but man, did he make it sound hot.
