Keeping up my search, I went to the bed, hoping that one of them hid a knife under the pillow or, better yet, a gun. That would propel me even further out the door of this prison.
Adrenaline pumped in my chest, getting my hopes up that these men had hidden something in this room that would help me escape them.
Getting down to my knees, I lifted the bed skirt, looking around until I saw my shining hope. A black handgun was right there, looking like my salvation.
Scrambling to reach for it, my fingertips grazed the grip of the gun.Finally! Finally, something was going my way!I could feel that hope I kept buried coming forward. That was until firm, rough hands circled my ankles, and my legs were yanked back. My frustrated scream filled my ears as I watched my hope for escape drift further and further away.
A hand gripped the back of my neck, yanking me up and pinning me face-first into the bed. My instincts kicked in, and I thrashed around, trying to find a break in this iron grip to move around to escape. A curse sounded above me, followed by a heavy body landing on top of mine, making it even harder to breathe.
Was this it for me?Something inside me cracked, like a foot on a frozen lake; the cracks expanded everywhere. I tried to calm myself, somehow knowing that whatever it was that cracked shouldn't come out.
The grip on my neck tightened as a gruff voice snarled in my ear. “What the fuck do you think you're doing?!”
12
KAZIA
The sound of shuffling feet echoed in my head. My mom's desperate voice.Don’t do that! Leave her alone! Smack.
Every second those rough hands gripped at the back of my neck was like a ticking time bond; the cracks shifted, and the jagged edges of old memories sliced open anew.
Darkness surrounded me as I looked through the slits of the closet door. Black boots and heavy footsteps vibrated the hardwood as the thud of my mom hitting the floor worked through my psyche. I wanted to scream, to tell him to leave her alone, but my whole body froze. Terror filled my throat, blocking my airways as my heart raced, trapped in a vicious cycle of fear and helplessness.
“What the fuck?”
His sickening, sugary peanut butter and chocolate scent filled my lungs, clogging my throat, making every inhale a struggle. Gasping for breath, I tried to push that terror into that black box I envisioned in my head.
Watching those black boots head my way, I squeezed my eyes tight, curling up into a ball to make myself smaller, invisible. That was until the door to the closet opened, and he grabbed me by the neck. “What the fuck do you think you're doing?!”
Thrashing around, I flung my legs all around, kicking everywhere and anywhere as hard as I could. I wouldn't let him get me; I couldn't. I repeatedly told myself that as an unending sea of fear flooded my mind.
“Fuck!”
The hand holding me disappeared, and I scrambled to the floor, crawling on all fours like an animal. The room around me felt like a cage, its walls closing in with each breath I took. I needed to hide, to be faster thanhim.
Safe. The word ran through my mind repeatedly, the only mantra I needed when he was around. I needed to find a safe place. Swinging my head around, I saw a desk in the corner and scrambled to get underneath, knowing every second counted. If I could disappear before he saw me, I could do it myself. He would be pissed, but it was better than being caught.
Safe. I need to stay safe. I pressed my nails into my palms, digging in, grounding me. Mom gets so upset when he hurts me. She cries and cries when she thinks I don’t know. She prays to the ancestors to help us survive, to endure, but I just want him to go away, to leave us alone.
“What the fuck are you doing to her?!”
A familiar voice bellowed across the room. Recognition itched in the back of my head, but I didn't move from my spot under the desk to look.
“Doing to her? She’s the one that kicked me in the nuts!”
That voice wasn’t her mom's boyfriend. Did he bring others with him this time? Tightening the grip on the pen in my hand, I raised it, ready to use it as soon as a hand tried to grab me, but I hoped they would just leave me alone. If I hid for longer than thirty minutes, he would give up and go drinking. I just needed to disappear for thirty minutes. I never wanted one of my mom's Romani spells more than this moment.
A violent scuffle broke out, fists slamming into bodies, shoes skidding, and a heavy thud as someone hit the floor. I pulled my legs in tighter, trying to make my body as small as I could make it.Please don’t let them hear me; please don’t let them see me.
“I left for fucking five seconds, and you already broke her! I’ll make you pay for this Ion! Brother or not, I warned you, didn’t I?”
A loud bang had me flinch; a cold, hard voice broke above the others. “What thefuckare you two doing in my room?” My body trembled because even without yelling or cursing, this voice demanded that I pay attention and do as he said, or something much worse would happen.
“He fucked with my Roma, and now she’s broken. Ion is never careful with anything, and now I have to patch her up, but she won't get out of her damn bunker!”
His Roma? Why did that sound familiar? That man never called me that. It was either ‘brat’ or ‘little bitch’. Shaking my head, I realized that the voice talking was one I had heard before.
“I told you! I. Didn’t. Break. Her!” Are they talking about me? Was I broken? “She fucking broke me! My dick still hurts from being kicked so hard. Fuck!”
