Whenshetookoffthat ring, I was so scared of what would happen to her, accepting so many mate bonds at once... but I knew if I didn’t fess up, that lost, devoid look that settled on her face would become permanent. Her faith in mates would be gone forever, and any single chance I had to be with her would be erased, gone before I even had a real opportunity.
I didn’t realize she would be in so much pain when she took it off, but I also didn’t count on her having five mates. I thought I was the only one, the only one for her, and we couldn’t be together.
That night after I found her in the alley, brought her up into the hotel room, and gave her my blood, I felt the shift in me. When I gasped at the sudden euphoric feel of her teeth sliding into my skin, I told myself that was normal. I enjoyed pain, even as a kid, and I knew that, so I brushed it off. Then her natural, sweet, jasmine fragrance intensified, filling my lungs until I thought I was drunk off it. I never wanted to part with it, but again, I pushed that to the side, saying I had always enjoyed her scent. With each suck and pull of my blood, my cock grew harder and harder, calling for me to touch her, have her, be with her. That she was mine.
That was when I knew something was off, different. I have always been territorial over Rayla, but it was never as all-consuming as this feeling.
I tried to take my mind off it, putting on a movie I knew she would like, and she fell asleep. She cuddled up into me that night, something we had done as children before when we were having a hard time with something, but this was different. She was using my body for shelter and safety, being vulnerable with me and trusting me more than she had any other being before, and my soul took flight. I brushed her hair, those soft silky strands caressed my cheek, and I curled my fingers around her hip, bringing her so close our bodies melted into one another. I had never been so happy in my life. I wanted this night to never end, for this to be how the rest of our lives went, and then my phone rang.
It was Ternin, and I untangled myself like he was standing before us, quickly exiting the room to take the call out in the hallway.
“What happened, Cosmo?” His tone told me he was not fucking around and wanted the honest answers.
When I hesitated, he continued. “Do you forget that I own this city? That the hotel you are in runs their security system through me? That I have access to be able to see that you are in the hallway right now, in front of door 1349? That I didn’t watch you bring my covered-up, motionless daughter in your arms and into that room? Now, what the fuck happened?”
I had to fess up or he would’ve come down here himself, so I told him everything. How I found her. How I learned what happened. How she begged me not to tell him. That she was now healed and in a deep, healing sleep. I didn’t tell him I fed her or what I was feeling at that moment about his daughter.
He was silent the entire time, but I felt his bloodthirsty need to get revenge in the worst way possible. Once I was done giving my report, I leaned against the wall as he set down the phone while he tore up his office in rage. If there was one thing I knew about Ternin Desmond, it was that his daughter was his world. His light in the darkness that was his life. She was the only thing left of her mother, the only woman Ternin had ever and would ever love in his lifetime.
When he was finally done, he picked up the phone and screamed, “I need you to round up the boys, pay them a little visit, and bring them to my dungeon. Then I am going to find every single being that they love, fuck, and or care for, and I am going to fucking break them in front of them, show them how dark and depraved I am. Once they are all sobbing like the fucking little bitches they are, I’m going to start my assault on them. I am going to make them wish that they were never born, wish that they would not be able to feel anything, and once they are fully broken, I’m going—”
I stopped his tirade, knowing he could go further than what he said, but Rayla wouldn’t want that. She didn’t even want her father to know. She wanted to prove herself, show her father who she was, and if he kept doing these kinds of things, she would never truly be able to show him. “I would advise against that, sir.”
“How dare yo—”
“Do you want your daughter to stop trusting you? Do you want her to constantly feel inadequate because you don’t let her take care of her own problems? Because she will, sir. She will begin to resent you for holding her back because you are unable to hold your emotions at bay. To control yourself.” It was after I said those words that I felt like I was talking to myself.
If I revealed my feelings to Ray, would I be a burden to her? Would it hold her back and keep her from reaching her full potential? Would I be more of a hindrance than a help?
Ternin stayed quiet for a second as my thoughts spiraled. He sighed out, sounding very tired all of a sudden. “Fine. You’re right. If she’s going to take over one day, I need her to be able to handle these things on her own. She needs to have the confidence that even if she loses a battle, she will always win the war.”
He was silent for a second, calming himself down until his normal peppy voice chimed through. “And, of course, I don’t have to worry because she will have you, her brother, at her side. You will be able to help her in situations like this, being her second and following her lead.” He grumbled more to himself than me, “It’s better than her having a damn boyfriend she would have to worry about. She’s the type to put her life in front of theirs, and that’s unacceptable. I would kill him myself before I let that happen.”
I stiffened at his words, my heart dropping for two reasons. He was right that if Rayla felt something deep for another person, she would put them above her own life, and I agreed with Ternin. That should never happen. The other was this sad little fear of mine that she would never see me as more than a brother, more than her right-hand man. That I would always be beneath her rather than beside her.
That internal voice, the little strange boy from the orphanage, cooed in my head, “You don’t deserve someone like her. She is miles ahead of you. A being like her should never be dirtied with your disgusting unwanted self. She is a dark angel, while you are a lowly, dirty demon, never meant for more than to admire and support her etherealness. You are worthless compared to her. The best use of your body is to protect her.”
I remember reminding Ternin to act like he knew nothing about this situation and that she and I would take care of it. Telling him I would let him know once everything was done with those men. After I hung up, I called my connection with the black market and told him I needed something to cover up a mate bond within two hours.
He flipped out, not knowing how he would get something that powerful completed, but when I listed the number I had in my savings, he took the job and delivered a quality product on time. He even added a subtle enchantment to the ring that would make the user not want to take it off.
I slipped it on her finger as she was sleeping and felt a slight burn behind the back of my right ear. Heading to the bathroom, stared in the mirror as her mate mark appeared. I felt dead inside, wanted to rage. I wanted to act like Ternin and break everything inside of this room, smash it to pieces like how my heart felt, but I couldn’t do that. I didn’t want to wake Rayla. She needed the sleep. The only solution was to expand my tattoos into my neck, not covering the mark, but close enough that it looked like a tattoo.
It was hard at first, seeing her with other men, watching her dance, flirt, and fuck around with others. The absolute fury that filled me was difficult to handle. I needed an outlet, and that started my full body tattoo journey, the pain on my skin dulling the pain in my heart, but soon, I realized it wasn’t enough.
I followed Ray that night she tortured her first boyfriend that betrayed her. She was covered in blood and smiles as she left his apartment, but, for once, I could not keep my wrath in check. I went into that apartment, put up a silent spell, and tore him limb from limb before detaching his head, and I felt amazing. It was like all the pent-up anger from the bond released from my body, and I could breathe again. So what started as a simple release ended up being a ritual. Every time she broke up with a fuck boy or stopped dating some idiot that was beneath her, I killed them. Hid their bodies and buried the missing persons reports so she wouldn’t see it. She was done with them, so she didn’t need to be bothered by them anymore. For the past ten years, that was how I coped with this bond, my secret... until now.
Watching her go through this was unbearable. It made me realize I might’ve made a mistake all those years ago. I might’ve let my fears and insecurities take hold of me, choking me into making a decision not right for her.
As soon as she slumped to the floor, I rushed to her side to see if she was okay and knew I had made a mistake when she opened her eyes and couldn’t look at me. When I was always the first person she relied on, wanted by her side, trusted to hold her, she could barely look me in the eyes. My chest crushed in on itself as my limbs felt like Jell-O. My whole body wanted to collapse on the floor, but I made myself stay upright.
Her golden-pink eyes turned sharp, her tone a mixture of disbelief and betrayal. “What. Did. You. Do?” I ran a hand over my head as my whole world crumbled around me. I needed to fix this, but that had to start with the truth. A truth that only I could give her.
I took a deep breath, mustering up the courage to look her in the eye as I pleaded, “Ray... I just... I don’t...”
A knock from her door interrupted me, and I turned to yell at the person to leave us be for a while when Rick busted in.
He paused, the panic in his face on hold as his eyes widened at seeing my face, then immediately looking at Rayla. For a moment, a look of relief flashed in his eyes before he shook his head and focused back on Ray. “Ray, we have bad news. Your fathers are missing. All of them.”
