I tried to get my magic to break through, slice it, bang it, tear at it, but no matter what I did, it was like chipping away at a brick wall. Sure, I could do it, but it was going to take a lot of time, energy, and effort. I studied the swirling power that was wrapped around me but was also still connected to the wand, which all of them still held.
Very quickly I realized that they’d found a way to combine their powers using a dark witch’s channeling tool. The thing about channeling tools was that you needed to keep your skin in contact with it for it to tap into your essence, and therefore, your magic. Sweat started to build up behind my neck as I realized the wand wouldn't be destroyed until it had met its purpose, or I got them to drop it.
I glared, trying to buy myself time to think.
“Don’t do this.” My voice broke a little, and I was not proud of that. “You think you are getting rid of a debt, but really, you are just doing my dad’s dirty work.”
This time, all of them wore the same look of forlorn acceptance, like they knew what I was saying was true, but they needed to carry this out anyway, even if they didn't want to.
Death pulled out the portal key from his pocket, hit the button, and threw it over my shoulder. I felt the vibrations in the air and instant heat hit my back when the portal opened, and I started to panic. For the first time since I came to this plane, I was nervous that things would not go my way, no matter how much effort or will I put behind it.
I needed more time. I was at the cusp of reaching my goals, everything at the tips of my fingers. My investments and properties are in the right place to expand and take over. My dream of building my own kingdom and living my life my way was starting to crumble before my eyes. I was almost at the point where I could show my father that I didn't need his kingdom, but that he should be proud of having a daughter strong enough to do it on her own. I’d been so close to breaking the mold and being truly free on my terms.
I screamed my frustration as I tried my hardest to break free, using a whole butt load of my magic at once, but again, I was just chipping away at this mixture of all four of their amazing powers. I watched them take a few steps together to get closer to me, and I growled at them, baring my teeth like an animal because that's how I felt: trapped and angry.
“I'm sorry we had to do it this way,” Fame whispered. He even looked like he meant it, but I didn't give a rat's ass.
I looked behind me as they started to crowd in, and I realized that they were trying to make me cross by pushing me back with their bodies.
All of my fears of returning to Hell started to bubble up. I didn't want to go back. If I went back, there was going to be nothing for me except unwanted responsibilities and to forever be trapped in Hell with whoever the magic of Hell wanted me to mate with.
I wasn't even going to be able to pick my own partner. That was how it worked. Hell’s magic was going to choose my mate for me, and I wouldn’t even know if I liked the fucker or not. Of all the demons I knew down there, I wouldn't want to be with any of them forever, let alone take over Hell with them.
My eyes widened with panic, not really looking at any one of the guys as my mind raced.
That had also been one of the main reasons my dad and I had gotten into a fight. He’d said I was fighting the magical call, and it was fucking with the atmosphere of Hell by not complying. That I only had a small window of time to be able to choose for myself before Hell would choose for me, and I just hadn’t been ready.
After I saw how losing my mom broke my dad, I didn't want to be connected to someone like that. Ever. I didn't want to be their everything because even as eternals, forever was not guaranteed. My mom taught me this as soon as she brought me into this world. She’d sacrificed her life for mine. But do you know what happened to those eternals the dead left behind? I did. They become a broken shell of themselves.
My father had chosen to drown himself in work. Always fighting everything on his own and making sure all disputes were settled immediately. All uprisings were personally taken care of by him. I hardly got to see him.
When I was younger, he would look at me with a sad smile, telling me that I looked like my mother, and then excuse himself to go work, leaving me to play with Reginald, our house manager. Then when I became a teenager, he tried to parent me. He saw that I was getting out of control and put a lot of rules down, trying to control me, which only made us fight each other harder.
When I became an adult, he let go, decided to teach me things, which I appreciated. We started to get along more, just the occasional fights, and then he wanted to show me the ropes of the “family business”, and I just had enough. I have always loved my father, even if he wasn't the best, but we would’ve been so much happier if we’d also had my mother to balance the two of us out.
No, forever was not promised to anyone, least of all the people in this family, so I chose to skip it. I’d chosen to let that life and those responsibilities go and start a new life up here. One I could control. One where those bonds were mine to choose.
All those feelings made my heart pound and my mind sprint from problem to problem, not solving anything as I felt like I was drowning. I looked at the guys. All of their eyes were alight with the finality of what they were doing, like they were saying goodbye to me. I trembled as rage surged through my body. This wasn’t a fucking game! This was the rest of my existence they were fucking with. I was not going to give up!
I closed my eyes and slowed my emotions, turning that anger inward like Reginald had taught me all those years ago when I’d had to deal with my dad and couldn't hold it all in. He’d told me that I needed to realize why I was so angry first before I could clear my mind of it.
I was pissed at myself for being so idiotic and letting myself get caught. Pissed at my dad and Hell for forcing me to leave my home to be free. And pissed at these four men in front of me for forcing me back to face all those fears and insecurities when I was not ready. When I was scared that I would never be ready.
I turned back to them with a snarl. Something in my face must have scared them, because they all backed up a step. Then I got a hail mary of an idea.
My voice vibrated out in fury, pain, and fear. “If I’m going down, you’re going down with me, fuckers.”
Then, while they all still had a grip on their pathetic little wand thing, I yanked them with me by the tether they had on me, and we all tumbled into Hell together.
Chapter 24
Ituggedthemthroughthe portal with me, using my body weight and the power they had lassoed around me against them to yank them forward. They all lost their balance as they held onto the wand, not counting on me trying to take them with.
I went through the portal backwards, not knowing if it was going to be a short or a long drop—portals were tricky like that—but I didn't care. I cackled as the heat of Hell started to wrap around me. My laughter was an ugly, raw sound, but I didn't care. I was pissed at everyone and everything, and I wanted them to know just by my laugh how I felt. If I was going down, they were going with me.
I enjoyed watching their faces as I pulled them through the portal. Con’s shocked face, War’s knowing smirk, Fame’s disbelief, and Death’s pissed off eyes drilling holes into my head. Yes, all of those emotions told me that even if they’d won,I didn't lose. I hated losing. I was a shit loser. I think it was a family trait.
I didn't look backwards as I fell, but my back slammed into the ground sooner than I anticipated. Hell’s landscape changed from circle to circle, the whole atmosphere altering depending on the sin. This felt like the Outer Lands—the space that souls used to cross into Hell. It was a barren desert, crafted to be like the Judaean desert, an exact replica of the one my father and Jesus went camping in for forty days and forty nights on Pop Pop’s orders.
