Join the club, brother.
He sat up just as fast as he sat down. “If he wins, she’ll hate us. She won't ever want to talk to us again and”—he started to rub the spot where his heart was as he looked off into space—“I don't know if I could handle that.”
“Me either, big guy. That's why I have been trying to come up with an apology plan.” With his head held high, Con sauntered into the room, sitting in the chair next to the couch, which had never been used before.
Oh, no, don't ask to come into my private space. Please, make yourselves at home.My brothers were assholes.
Con continued with a deep breath and a shine in his eyes, “Maybe you two can help me make a list. Women always respond better when you’re groveling, so let's make a list of all the things we can do.”
Sitting up, War nodded at him with vigor, paying attention to him like he was spewing out facts of the universe. Con began to search my study, trying to find a pen and paper, lifting my stuff and putting it down in the wrong spots.Fucking shit. I put my elbows on my desk and started to massage my head. Their antics were really grating on my nerves. Did they really think that she would just be cool with us dragging her to Hell?
I should try to reason with them, calm them down, because I doubted a woman like Lillian Darkstar was going to give in just because we made ourselves look like a bunch of buffoons.
“Look, we don't know anything yet. We won’t know anything until—”
Con sighed as his jaw tightened in my direction. “I thought we were past all this.” He waved a hand in my direction in emphasis. “Get on the win-Lillian-back gravy train and help us win our woman, then we can finally start living the good life and worry about whatever you’re thinking about.” He finally found a notepad and War lifted up a pen for him.
My mouth closed as he put his head down and prepared himself to write down all the ridiculous things that they came up with.
“Okay, so we need to start by offering her the head of her top enemy.” War looked around the room and winced. “Maybe a couple of heads, since there are three of us.”
Con pointed to him and nodded in agreement. “Four, including D.” He fucking wrote that down before he shot up out of his seat, facing War in excitement. “Also, some chocolate from the best chocolatier… Or a statue of her made of chocolate! My hellcat has a sweet tooth.”
“Yeeeesssss!” War pointed at him like he was a genius as he got up and added, “And we need to get her a new fancy car. She likes fancy cars, right? I thought I saw that in the file.” He looked back at me to confirm as he tapped his chin like he was trying to figure out a math question.
I opened my mouth to answer, but Con got to it first. “Yes, but it needs to be more of a luxury, one-of-a-kind type of car. She doesn't care for the regular, fast, run-of-the-mill, expensive cars. I’m writing that one down too.” He started to scribble it down as fast as he could.
“Also, a day of pampering. The works. I don't want her stressed out when we go on our first official date,” War says, chest puffed and out, looking far too proud of himself for his suggestions, as he sat down again.
“Oooohhhh… Single dates all around. Got it!” As Con wrote, he mumbled underneath his breath about making his the best date, and he followed with, “Then we can do a group date. Something like laser tag or an escape room challenge! She would love that!”
“These are great fucking ideas. We should do this more often!” War said, always the cheerleader when it was something he wanted to do.
The antics continued for a while. Pages of ideas ended up scattered around my study, and the longer it took for D to get back, the more I was convinced by my brothers that trying to apologize would be the best route.
I was about to suggest we take her on a secluded island vacation, somewhere we could all relax and not worry about powers and magic, when a familiar shimmering sound started, and suddenly D was thrown through the portal.
I almost let out a big sigh, relieved that she’d won against him, and my insides filled with pride when I realized that I was truly rooting for her. I looked at Con and War, both looking down at D on the floor with matching grins on their faces, War clasping Con’s shoulder as Con whispered, “Thank the creator.” We were fucked.
As Con and War went to pick up D, Lucifer stepped through the portal too.
“Well, well, well, boys, you guys are now starting to make me worry. Can you not handle a small, little woman?” Lucifer cooed, then laughed, but it looked like Con had had enough.
Con threw his pen and paper on the couch. “You know that she’s much more than just a ‘little woman’. She’s smart, capable—”
“Strong and fast and—” War blurted.
“Strategic and infuriating,” I grumbled.
Lucifer stopped laughing as he eyed us three up and down in a weird way, like he had plans going on in the back of his mind. I didn’t like it. I didn’t like it one bit, because if there was anyone who played the long game, it would be Lucifer. Even I knew that.
“Yes, well, there arefourof you and onlyoneof her. I thought that even if she was all those things, you could take care of her.” He crossed his arms, looking at us like a disappointed big brother.
As Con helped D up, D finally looked at Lucifer, anger burning in his eyes.
“If you're so smart, why don't you tell us how to get your daughter?” he said through clenched teeth.
Lucifer cracked a grin as he looked at all of us. “But if I told you, the victory won't be so sweet… I am, however, running out of time… Decisions, decisions.” He started to pace in front of us.
