Con shuddered as he got to his feet. “Entertaining! Oh, fuck no! Those scary freaky ass bitches were trying to take my pants off and wouldn’t take no for an answer! No means NO!” Con sliced his hand downward like he was fighting them off here and now. His eyes stared off in the distance with horror like he could see them still.
Lucifer looked him up and down as he shrugged. “Oh, they are scary if you're not into females that are completely pale pink, have maroon curved horns coming out their heads and a large slit running down from chin to asshole. Their whole body is made of a vagina with tentacles that come out for their prey.” He leaned towards me, talking like we were buddies in a sauna chatting about women. “They use those tentacles in some really inventive ways, but sometimes they can get a little pushy.”
He straightened, motioning to Con again. “They don't attack males unless they are left unsatisfied. It's the cum and desire they feed on, and unsatisfied men are the tastiest. At least, that’s what I'm told.” Then he cocked his head in thought. “Were you left unsatisfied? Did you have a boner in Hell?”
Con’s face turned three shades of red as he started to stutter as his eyes drifted from side to side. “I-I-I did not… They… They came after… It's none of your business!”
Con looked flustered and frantic, two expressions that almost never crossed his face. Usually, he was the perfect pretty boy, with all his fancy words and witty banter that made all the women swoon. So, seeing him like this, his hair in every direction, his face stricken, and half dressed, it was like a treat. Then it hit me.
I pointed at him and boiled over with laughter. “You didn't do it! You lost! You couldn't close the deal?!” I bent over and started slapping my knee, the echo of the noise bouncing around and making it even louder. It was so funny that he’d made a stupid move like falling through the portal himself. Fucking idiot.
Lucifer rolled his eyes. “Great, so now you’re down one portal key. Where are the others?” He looked from side to side like they would naturally be here for this conversation.
Con crossed his arms and mumbled excuses underneath his breath as I wiped the tears from my eyes. This was the best day ever.
“We all decided to take a crack at her in our own way, and if for some reason we all failed, whoever was closest would try with the fifth one you gave us.” I turned back to Con. “Which means it's now my turn!” I rubbed my hands together. Oh man, I was getting excited now.
Lucifer scoffed with his arms folded and amusement twinkling in his eyes. “Good luck, boyo.”
He flicked his hand and a portal to Hell opened. He was about to step forward when I called out, “Wait, do you have any advice, since she's your daughter?”
He slowly turned around, studied my face, then looked me up and down with a sarcastic chuckle. “Don’t let her win.” Then he slipped through the portal, howling at his own joke that I didn't find the least bit funny. Well, that wasn’t any help.
I turned around to ask Con about his take on her, but his retreating form was running to his room.
“Hey! Since you failed, how about you give me some tips?”
Con paused at his door, hand on the knob, and glared over his shoulder.
“Don't fall in.” He quickly opened his door, walked in, and shut it before I could get a word in. That. Little. Bitch!
“Fine! I don't need your help!” I yelled and kicked at his door.
What the fuck crawled up his ass? I hated when he got like this, all moody and depressing. It took the fun out of teasing his ass. I stuck my tongue out at the door before I turned around and stomped away, grumbling under my breath. “Stupid brothers. Should've sold them when I had the chance.”
I decided that I should probably read the file on Lillian Darkstar again, then shower and get ready for Fight Night. I wanted to get there early to watch all the fights, maybe find a ring girl to fuck before I fought. Yeah. That was a good plan. And I had to remember:Don't fall in.
Iparkedinthedirt lot, in the middle of nowhere. Apparently, Californians called it the Dunes, but I must have gotten the directions wrong because all that was in front of me was mounds and mounds of sand. Fucking Nazadar! That fucking gambling demon was always getting little details wrong, but he was the one demon on this side of the country who knew everyone and everything that was going on, so I was forced to work with him.
I pulled out my phone and pushed so hard on the screen it almost cracked. It was so hard to be careful with these stupid little things. Why did they make them so easy to break? Even with the mammal cases made by otters—which they claimed would make it very hard to break—the phones were not a match for me and my hands.
As soon as the phone started to ring, more cars arrived behind me. I hung up the phone and opened my car door. I decided to ask these people if they knew anything when they lined up behind my car. All four vehicles in one single file line, not getting out of their cars or turning them off, and I paused, getting the feeling I really didn't know what was going on here. I heard a whistle come from the side, and I turned around, only to see mounds of sand again. The whistle came again, except in five short bursts. Then I felt the ground rumble.
I quickly got back into my car, wondering what the fuck was going on. The second I was fully seated, my car was still shaking when the sand in front of me started to disappear and a long ramp that went underground opened up. Wow, that was fucking cool, no matter how stuck up you were.
A small, almost child-sized green colored imp came out and waved at me to drive on in. I took the hint, put the car in drive, and descended into this underground world I had no idea existed. As soon as I was fully inside, I saw a light at the end of the deep dark tunnel and kept going. As soon as I passed the threshold, a whole underground society was illuminated before my eyes. My mouth dropped open as this was like nothing I’d ever seen before.
Someone knocked on my car and I was ushered by another green little imp towards a large parking area off to the side. As I drove slowly, I looked down over the edge and saw the main layout of the place. It was huge. There were three major cage rings, all with demons or Other fighters currently in them, surrounded by people calling out bets while the bookies ran around like mad men.
The three cages were in a large crater-like area, while I saw an upper level that had separate decks with their own parties happening. Each deck had their own bar, DJ, booths, and dance area. With the high-level demons that I saw sitting up there, I would assume there was a hefty price on those suite decks that overlooked the fighting rings. For those patrons, it must be worth it to keep beings they didn’t like away and down in the pits, yet still be near enough to watch their investment with all the comforts of their own space and security.
Off to the side, behind the three major fight rings, it looked like there was a main dance floor that was carved from red rocks and had a light show with their own DJ. That must be where the not-rich people partied. That was the spot for me.
Being rich was not my thing. I liked the simpler things in life. Both Fame and Con liked to rib me for it, but I just didn't care about that shit like they did. I just wanted to fight. To get this aggression out of me, to release some of the power that built up every second of every day. Which meant that the normal demons and Others were the ones I was comfortable being around. I never really tried to meet royalty, kingpins, or uber rich moguls. That was my brothers’ job.
I parked in the spot I was directed to, and handed off my keys to the demon that crawled up the side of my car door.
“Hand, please,” the little gremlin asked, and I looked at him like he was crazy.
