“So, what’s going on with you and the prince?” My eyes almost popped out of my head. Where the hell did that come from?
“What do you mean?” I asked, seriously confused about the question.
This time it was her turn to look at me with a raised eyebrow, giving me a look like I was being purposely obtuse. “You mean you didn’t notice how he can’t take his eyes off you? How he lights up when you’re near him?” I was still looking at her like her head was on too loose, she rolled her eyes.
“You’re telling me you don’t know that he’s half in love with you, Mika?” When I didn't answer right away, she raised an eyebrow and looked me deep in my eyes until she sat back, blew out a frustrated breath, and threw up her hands.
I would usually take offense to her tone that speaks volumes of my stupidity, but I was too stunned to even acknowledge it. I went over my recent interactions with him in my head and I really can’t pinpoint anything like what she was saying. “No, he doesn’t.” I contradicted her but it sounded weak, even to me, but I didn’t know how else to refute her statement so I doubled down.
“We’re just close friends. Always have been, always will be.” I think back to the beginning days when I met him. I thought he was some sneaky, nosey servant child looking for information on me. When I finally realized it was the prince, I let him go, hoping that he would forget bumping into me, but then he grabbed my tunic sleeve, not even able to look me in the eye as he asked me in a broken voice to stay. It was the first time in a long time that my heart squeezed at the recognition of loneliness. A loneliness that I also felt. From that day on, we were friends.
After I told him how we only come once or twice a year to the palace, I saw how crushed it made him and I knew I had to find a solution. I didn’t want to lose my friend either. I remembered the month before when I helped this fae girl with a brute who was beating on her in one of the border settlements. She had little to give, but she had these magical message pages that could never be destroyed, so I took them with gratitude, thinking I wouldn’t find a use for them.
When I saw him the day before I was going to leave, I gave one to him. I was so excited that I had a use for it that I forgot that magic was forbidden in Onisea. I felt bad about the gift until I saw his face. He lit up like I had just given him the world and it was just a piece of stupid magic paper. Heat radiated from my chest and a sense of loyalty and care took over my body. I knew that no matter what; I was going to take care of this boy with everything that I had inside of me.
It took me a while to realize I wanted to protect his light, not wanting the evils of court to ruin him. I already knew I was a child made of darkness. That I was going to be molded and formed into a killing tool. I had the stamina, the brains and the determination to be good, very good at it. It’s what my father wanted, and deep down in the recesses of my mind, I knew I wanted it to. I never wanted to be weak and not able to protect what I saw was mine. Being the best assassin made that possible.
I forced myself to do things I wasn’t entirely comfortable with, wasn’t exactly proud of, but when I was around Vance, it was like my darkness receded and I could bask in his light. I had only felt that one other time, the one and only time that I let go of the assassin side and let myself be who I thought I would be if I were a normal adolescent. The few days I spent with three boys who showed me what it meant to be happy and free, but just like me, they were children of darkness, and the men and women we were today reflected that. The best we could do now was to protect those like Vance and Ruby, the ones that have the light and can lead the people into a better life. Heal what was broken. Let those of us that are of the dark, do the dark things we’re good at.
“Are you sure?” Ruby asks, looking like she’s not buying what I was selling.
I give her my best sassy look, something that I learned from her. “Yes. He needs someone to be able to be in the light with, not someone who will forever sulk in the shadows.”
She rolled her eyes but kept her lips tight, not arguing with me, which meant she knew I was right. She got up and collected her basket she used to bring the treats.
“Thank you again for your help.” I wanted her to know I appreciated it.
She snorted. “Oh, yeah sure. I just brought the stupid food and drinks. You guys are the ones planning and doing everything.” The harsh tone that I heard from her sounded so unlike her, and I wanted to sooth her thoughts. I stood up and put my hand on her arm, squeezing gently to get her full attention. “You may think it’s a small thing, but I’m going to need all the help I can get wrangling those boys in. They’re a lot of work.” I blew out a breath of exhaustion to emphasize.
She paused, thinking about it for a bit when she finally giggled as she stepped towards the door, the twinkle in her eyes came back. “Yeah, you’re right. Those boys are a piece of work and I’ll help you in any and every way I can, but Mika...” I fully faced her, giving her my full attention to show how much I respected her input. “If anyone can whip those boys into shape, it would be you.” She winked at me and quickly went out the door as she waved goodbye.
A piece of me hoped she was right. That if anyone could do it, it would be me. That I was the only one able to conquer these boys, but then I remembered Ajax’s hurt face, Rykon’s hesitancy and Zayden’s declaration in the dungeons. I can’t help but think that at the end of this, all of us will have our hearts broken. The only silver lining was, this time, we would be working towards something bigger than ourselves and that had to count for something.
I tried to keep myself busy all day. I did drills and exercises to keep my skills up, but in the end, I found I missed killing people. If I had a target right now, I would be watching them, following them. Figuring out the best way to get the job done in a smooth and brutal way, but because of stupid Ajax and his even more idiotic father, I had to keep a lid on the whole assassin thing. Which was really hard because that was all I was. You didn’t become the best assassin and an excellent seamstress at the same time. It was either one or the other.
As I was now pacing my apartment, looking for any security holes I may have missed, I realized I was in a mood. My body was vibrating and my head was racing with thoughts. I had this itch to make a bloody mess of a kill just to bathe in the blood, so I guess it’s good that I didn’t have a target. Messy equals trouble.
Before I could stop myself, I thought that if I had my father’s low-level magic of wiping away messes, I could get brutal and get away with it easily, but he was dead. I wouldn’t get that kind of help again. That thought stopped me in my tracks.
It surprised me when my chest tightened and my breath hitched, and I felt a tingle behind my eyes. It has been almost a year since his death. I thought I was over any of these lingering grief-like feelings and yet every once in a while, one pops up again.
Before I could delve into it deeper, a hurried knock sounded against my door and a low rushed whisper came though. “Let me in Mi-, Emerald. I have news!”
My mood lightened as I recognized Vance trying to use his stealthy voice. It wasn’t much different from his own, but I always let it go. Reminding myself that not everyone was trained to be an assassin.
I rushed to the door, looking forward to having something exciting to do. As I started to open the door Vance slipped in through the crack, quickly shoving his hood off as he turned to me, clutching my biceps. “I found something! A solution!” He looked so happy, so full of hope and light, that I couldn’t help the small smile that graced my lips as I motioned for him to sit down.
He hastily told me about the librarian and the secret hideout. I frowned at that because he shouldn’t have just gone into an unknown secret room with someone who could be working for his father just because he was curious, but I let it slide, seeing as his intuition about the man was correct.
He told me about the room that had all the magical items. I got excited when he talked about an iridescent rock that had him memorized.
“That’s arathetemon.” I quickly said, remembering the time I saw one in person. They are a vision to look at, but that’s what made them so dangerous. “You didn’t look for more than a minute, did you?” My suspicions of the old librarian went up tenfold now that I knew what he might have been using against my friend.
He said the name of the rock again, getting used to the unique sounds of the words. The e’s were short, and the fae put an emphasis on the sound. He got it in a few tries and then answered my question. “No, he didn’t pull my memories from my head.” I let out a sigh at his chastising tone, but I had to make sure. If anyone got inside of his head, then they would know exactly what we were planning and that would be terrible.
“In fact, he interrupted the pull to the rock by telling me what it did. So, please ease your mind, Mason is on our side.” He looked at me expectantly, but I just couldn’t follow through with it.
I picked at the wooden table. “I will reserve judgment until a later date.”
