I was stuck stiff, not knowing what to do with that information. I mean, if any of the wrong people heard those words, they would inform my father and he would have a field day eradicating that kind of thought from the workforce. Making sure he squashed that kind of thinking before they got any other ideas. Then he would turn his attention onto me and would ensure that I knew how unprepared I was for the kingship. How little I understood and wasn't possibly ready. How I would need years under his tutelage and then never follow through, claiming he was too busy. I have fallen for that trap before.
I nodded to the man, caught between not knowing what to say and not wanting to give him any ideas.
He turned his attention to the window and looked back at me. “They’ve switched. You should be fine to leave now.” He ushered me over to the side entrance that had more shadows and cover to conceal myself. I whispered my thanks and slipped past him, but he caught my arm, “We will be ready when you are, your highness.” Then he let go and quietly shut the door.
I was stunned again.Did my actions read so openly? Was this a hope of his? Of the workers in the castle? Was I ready to be responsible for them?
Those thoughts kept circling my mind because my actions said yes, that I wanted to see a change and I wanted to be that change, but a little piece of my heart was frightened. I’ve now seen his face, felt his loyalty, benefited from it, and now have felt the weight of that responsibility like I never have before.
I reminded myself that I have all the time in the world to think about thisafterI was safely back in my room, and I pressed forward.
I kept my back to the castle wall, my feet quiet as I let them sink into the grass before moving. Using the shadows and shrubbery to conceal myself, I made my way to the secret entrance that was in the gardens behind the rose bushes. At the smell of the roses, a memory snapped into place of another game that Mika had introduced me to, and I smiled.
As a child, my father always liked to keep me separate from his affairs. Often in meetings with nobles and his advisors. My mother died shortly after I was born, making it so I didn’t really have parents growing up. Aunt Vera, my father’s twin sister, was my father’s advisor, and after my mother died, she also took up the obligations as the queen, but conveniently left out the duties as a mother or a constant adult in my life, treating me like a pet she wished she could throw into the ocean. So, most of the time, I got to do whatever I wanted.
I wasn’t particularly athletic, and I wasn’t very blood thirsty, so I usually stayed in the library with tutors, spending my days reading. I had been doing that since I was very young and I still haven’t been able to read all the books in the royal library. My father got mad when he found me in the library and demanded that I take sword lessons. I made sure to be good at it, making sure I hit the right moves and knew how to counter my opponent in hopes of impressing him. My father would even pop into some of my sessions to watch, but once he saw I was efficient enough, he would disappear again, and I stopped trying too hard for things he wanted me to do.
We got into this routine of only seeing each other at royal functions. One of the princely duties that was mandatory I attend. This was where I eventually learned that even if he wasn’t there, seeing me every day or talking to me, he still had people watching me. He would regale others with stories about what I did with my days, and how advanced in my lessons I was, all while never speaking or seeing me accomplish those things himself. I was always alone, yet always being watched.
One day, I accidentally found a secret passage, which led to many more, and it was like the Maker God had answered my prayers. I had a way to be alone, truly alone, and not have the feeling I was being judged by him all the time. I thought that was what I wanted. If I couldn’t get my father’s attention, my aunt’s kindness, or the advisors to take me seriously, then I just wanted to be alone, but then I bumped into Mika.
She was spying on her father talking with mine, her dark tresses twisted and put up into a bun with smaller hairs coming undone around her face, standing on her tippy toes to look into the room, mumbling and cursing underneath her breath about her inadequate height for a six year old. I was the same age so I knew her pain.
At first, it pissed me off that this unknown person, this possible traitor, was in our walls spying on us. I called out in an accusing whisper, “Who are you?! What are you doing?” She snapped her gaze in my direction and with the speed I have only seen a viper exhibit, struck her fist at me and knocked me out cold. When I finally came to, I was tied up and gagged. I started to berate myself, think about how much of an idiot I was, when my eyes caught movement to my right. Light shined from the lantern I brought and I watched as the most beautiful girl I have ever seen moved into the light, frowning down at me. I remember thinking that I hated that frown on her porcelain heart shaped face.
A shine bounced off something she had in her hands and I narrowed my eyes to see the dagger she had in her hand. She got right up in my face, asking me questions that I wasn't hearing, when all I could do was stare at her honey golden eyes that sparkled like diamonds. She blew out a frustrated breath and stood up, the light I had brought with me danced against her hair to show this deep dark shade of green I had never seen before. I just kept staring at her as she was threatening me about trespassing.
Eventually, I got out of my stupor and ended up convincing her I was the prince. It took some time, but reluctantly she untied me before she went to leave. At that moment, I felt my heart race and my skin trembled. My mind kept telling me to do something, say something, and I panicked. I didn’t know what made me do it, but my hand snatched out onto her black sleeve and I grabbed and tugged on it. Looking down at the floor in embarrassment, as I whispered out, “Stay with me.”
She turned around slowly, eyed me up and down as I got the courage to raise my head and gaze into those captivating eyes of hers, hoping I didn’t see pity. And I didn’t. I saw this small glimpse of compassion and loneliness that matched my own, that told me we were the same. That the prince and this stranger had the same fears and the same problems. I think that’s what shocked me most of all.
That was the start of me realizing that no matter our hair color, social background or wealth, we have the same problems, the same emotions. It’s what made us all human.
She shrugged out of my grip and turned towards the spot she was spying on my father, nodded her head in that direction and asked if I knew what he was talking about. I didn't, but it seemed like she already knew that, or didn't care, because she stayed with me that day, eventually saying she had nothing else better to do. I asked her about her life and she asked me about mine. I learned about her father, the king’s assassin, and that she was his apprentice. I found out that they traveled all year, but came back once or twice a year for updates on politics and proof for jobs completed.
Finally, when it was well past bedtime, we both parted ways, not saying anything to each other, afraid to ruin the time we just shared with a goodbye. I remember going to bed that night and, for the first time in a while, I wasn’t restless as I slept through the night.
The next day I was in a gloomy mood, thinking I lost my only friend, when she poked her head out of one of the secret passages and waved at me to come in. I raced in, so elated to see her.
Before I could say a word, she barked, “You're going to help me train. I need to get faster, better.” She finally glanced at me, looking me up and down. “Plus, you need to learn some useful tools in order to deal with the snakes in this place.” She growled as she said, “To make sure you don’t become as useless as the rest of the nobility.” I nodded, not caring about the insult because I was just so excited to have my friend back.
After a couple of days of that, she told me she and her father were going to leave but that she got a present for me. I was ecstatic. I had never received a gift from a friend before. She opened her bag and pulled out a rolled up half sheet of paper and handed it to me.
I didn’t want to seem like an ungrateful person, but my face must’ve shown something because she rolled her eyes at me and grabbed the paper. I cried out, stretching arms towards my gift, wanting the page back, even if it was an inexpensive gift. Maybe it meant something to her?
She glared at me as I saw her take out a pen, unrolled it and wrote out Hi. Then she took out another piece of paper that looked like my pages twin from her bag. She unrolled it and magically I saw the word appear on the paper and after she read it; it disappeared.
She gave me a smug smile as she handed it back to me and I just gawked at it. Fascinated by this ingenious tool, my mind worked on overload trying to figure out how it could do that.
“It’s fae magic.” She said it like it was no big deal. “All you need to do is write on that page and wherever I am, I can get the message and vice versa.”
I lifted my gaze to hers, on the verge of tears as the only friend I have ever made just gave me a way to talk to her even when she wasn’t with me. She gave me a lifeline in a world where I felt like I was drowning.
“It’s no big deal.” She mumbled as she looked down, picking at her clothes, as her cheeks turned red. It was then that I realized emotions made her nervous, uncomfortable. I sucked those tears up as I whispered, “Thank you.”
She shrugged. “Like I said, no big deal. Just don’t lose it.” She eyed me up and down like she knew how messy my room looked with all the books and papers everywhere. She looked behind her and then whispered, “And don’t let your father or aunt see it. If they find out you have that, then there will be problems for everyone. Can’t have the son of the fae magic hating king caught with a fae magic item.”
This time, it was my turn to eye her up and down. I remember thinking, I’m not an idiot. Her lips quivered as she fought the smile that was trying to break through her assassin’s cold, calm mask. “I won’t,” I assure her, tucking it into my breast pocket and patting it for good luck.
