“Cathal!”
“That’s what I said!” he shouted, dragging me toward the music, his breath smelling of sweet rum. “Now, Nazario’s crew is a bunch of scared ones. I need you to show them you can be fun and relatable.”
He set me on my feet, taking my hands as if to dance.
“I’m not fun or relatable,” I said.
“But we both know you’re good at pretending. Shall we?”
Before I could stop it, the corners of my mouth curled up and I was smiling. Not at myself, but at the rum-induced grin on Vidar’s face and the glint in his earthy eyes. Someone else began playing a lute in a cheery, fast rhythm and someone began banging on one of the barrels to set a pace. Cathal was spinning with Aeris, who didn’t seem to know a single thing about dancing by the way she was staring at her feet, but her dance partner seemed too entertained by it to let her sit out.
I leaned into Vidar’s ear. “I do know how to pretend.”
Vidar immediately wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me in. We began to spin and skip and attempt to keep up with the hastening tempo of the music. And when one of us tripped or bumped into another body, we laughed. I hadn’t laughed—genuinely laughed—in ages. The next thing I knew, I was being tossed to another partner. First it was Mullins. Then it was Nazario. The men were getting increasingly intoxicated and the air was smelling more and more of rum, sweat, and wood smoke. Now and then, I would glimpse Meridan on her barrel clapping her hands to the music, her bright-white face made even brighter by the smile on her lips.
After some time, I didn’t recognize myself. I didn’t recognize anyone. For months, smiles were something I saw in passing when someone would make a joke. It was never so consistent and never so plentiful. Even the little celebration following our escape from Gilly Pine seemed an empty affair compared to that night. More than once, someone raised a toast in Gus’s name and the men would take a swig of their drinks, reminding us why we were dancing and laughing in the first place. He was gone, but his spirit was there and I loved it. I loved the celebration of his existence. Of his values.
It was unlike anything I’d done before. Death, to a Kroan, was an inconvenience. It left a hole for someone else to fill, whether they wanted to or not.
The night went on and on with the men going through bottles of rum. The music grew less coherent and the dancing more erratic.
I stood to the side, leaning against a palm. Meridan was sitting next to Mullins trying to play his fiddle and having no idea how it worked. Some of the men were even passed out in various places on the ground. Some were poking at the flames and engaging in quiet conversation and others seemed to just be getting started intheir revelry. My mind started to wander again to the problems we were going to have to deal with when the sun rose.
My gaze slowly crawled toward the dark base of a particular tree where Lyla was stuffed in a very uncomfortable cage awaiting whatever fate we had in store for her. My skin crawled at the memory of her touch and her whispered words in my ear.
And, like a moth to a flame, Aeris wandered over to me again, that time with the watchful eye of that broad redhead looming over her. It seemed that no matter where she went, someone from that crew always knew where she was.
“Why did you spare her?” she asked. “Whoever is in that cage.”
“I was hoping she could give me answers.”
“She feels… strange.”
“What does she feel like?” I asked, keeping my eyes on that covered cage.
“Like smoke. Like if I were to get closer, I would not be able to breathe. Anger. Hate. Sorrow.”
I raised a brow. “Everyone is sad today. Don’t get the feelings mixed. Even rum and dancing can’t hide that completely.”
“Perhaps I got it wrong then.”
Her tone made me uneasy like she didn’t believe her own words. Like she was confident and feigning humility.
“You long to talk to her,” she continued.
“I suppose you can feel that, too.”
“Of course. And you are staring at her. What good would come from talking to her, though?”
“I don’t know.”
I finally turned my head to see Vidar and Nazario deep in conversation near one of the fires. He was distracted with things that needed to be done and that was making allies. He was doing his part. I wanted to do mine.
I started walking toward the cage and was surprised to hear Aeris following.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m going to have a conversation.” Glancing over my shoulder, I looked for a piece of jewelry that might resemble a silentium hanging around her neck and I saw nothing. “You don’t have a silentium. You should go back to your captain.”
