I scrubbed that thought from my mind, despite that it was clawing for purchase trying to dissuade me. Vidar moved up beside me, leaving his captain’s coat behind for a smaller, more mobile leather jacket. He had a pistol tucked into his baldric and his bronze cutlass, Lady Mary, strapped to his hip.
“We all feel it,” he muttered. “These waters are not what they used to be.”
“Do you know where Addison is?” I asked.
“Aye. She lives in the center of town near the church,” he pointed toward a steeple that stretched just a little bit higher than the other buildings.
“It’s quiet.”
“A bit too quiet for my liking, but the men have been through plenty to know not to let their guard down.”
My incessant dreams flashed behind my lids again, reminding me of the horrors that haunted me every night. Horrors where Vidar was torn apart trying to protect me.
I spun toward him, catching his gaze. “You should stay,” I said.
His nose wrinkled like I’d said something appalling. “Stay?”
“If the town is overrun, a couple of humans with pistols and blades will not make a difference.”
“We don’t know what’s going on. Pirates could have taken the port. Disease could have, for all we know. If it’s neither of those things, the xhoth want usalldead, not just humans. And if sirens have taken Dornwich, they have no love for you either.” He flickedthe loose neckline of my shirt, reminding me of the many scars that littered my chest and throat, most from my own kind. “On the off chance that Dornwich is still under human control, you will need me.”
I took a long, deep breath of the air and smelled brine, rot, and mud on the breeze. No smoke from fireplaces. No cattle. No ale.
“Dornwich is not under human control,” I said. “Trust me.”
“You can sense that, can you?”
“Please.” I took his hand, stroking the leather over the two wooden fingers.
He sighed ruggedly, shaking his head. “I will row to shore. Once there, we will decide which of us is more fit to venture into town, if we decide to separate at all.”
Vidar’s gaze said everything. He was as unyielding in that argument as he was in every other part of his life. I conceded with a reluctant nod as Mullins, James, and David stepped up to climb into the boat with us.
Once we all settled in and the boat began to drift toward the shores, I felt like a fool. A fool for seeking out my own destruction. A fool for rowing towards danger. A fool for caring about too many people. Vidar. Meridan. Even Mullins, Gus, and the rest of the crew had chiseled their way into my hardened, rotting heart because I’d let my guard down.
And we were going places where people did not survive. We were dangling ourselves in front of death and risk like bait. I glanced up at Vidar. He was facing me as Mullins and James rowed hard toward the eerie docks. He was a master at hiding his worries behind hardened, ferocious features, but the way his thumb stroked one of the rings on his hand was a quirk I’d come to recognize. He was nervous. Deep down, he questioned his every decision. He was responsible for a crew that had come to trust him and every choice he made affected every person on his ship.
I was beginning to feel that burden myself after months of sailing with them all. I questioned whether my search for answersand freedom was just a selfish quest that would destroy everything around me one day soon. Had I found people to call my own only to lead them into the stomach of a hellish beast?
The docks came into view and immediately, my heart was drumming with worry. There were no other boats. No other ships.
No… there were none that had not been damaged too severely to sail. The debris of fishing boats sat submerged partway in the shallows. Sails were shorn. Ropes were cut. I glanced at Vidar, hoping he was understanding what we were heading towards.
“I think you were right, love,” he said to me, a new air of stern awareness sharpening the features of his face.
“Think everyone left?” David asked.
“Looks like it,” Mullins said.
“Don’t dock here,” Vidar said. “Go down to the beach. We’ll hide the boat in the brush.”
“We’re hiding? You ok cap’n?” Mullins whispered.
“I’m being cautious,” he said.
When we reached the beach, we all hopped out of the boat and dragged it up the shore, hiding it in a cluster of overgrowth. The smell of decay and filth was stronger there. I adjusted my belt so my knife was well within reach and peered down the beach toward the docks again, gauging the distance we had to go.
“Mullins and David, stay with the boat,” Vidar ordered. “James, you come with us. You know the way to Addison’s smithy better than anyone.”
